Feelings for two people

Tldr; I’m very interested in a guy I’ve only met recently, but also have a chance to get back with my ex who I care for and know very well.

My ex and I were together for a year and friends for two years. He broke things off (5 months ago). We were both going through difficult times with our mental health and couldn’t focus on each other. Now, other than this, we care about and trust each other so much. The sexual chemistry was 👌. And he is an all round fabulous guy.

We are ‘low contact’ which is mostly no contact but we call every one or two months. Since breaking up, I’ve asked him if he thinks we will have a future. He’s said he honestly doesn’t know, although one time he accidentally said he would “definitely-“ and then stopped saying that, I believe it was to not mislead me? Anyway , for the first four months my hopes were very high.

I made a tinder account about 2 months ago to make friends as I recently moved (which I was very honest about friendship-only to people on the app, and to myself). I stopped using it after about a month as I was too depressed (life in general) to go out and meet people.

I went back on tinder a few weeks ago as I was in a much better headspace. I’ve made friends with three people. However, I have started to have feelings for one person and was completely caught off guard. I did become intimate with him, and we have really great chemistry all round. He has told me he is ideally looking for a relationship and seems interested in me. He knows where I’m at: that I’m still processing my breakup, and there is still a decent chance with my ex.

However, I’ve stopped thinking of my ex so much. I rarely feel so sad about the breakup. Instead, I’m thinking about this guy and the cute dates I want to go on with him and how, maybe, he would be a wonderful partner. Only thing is that he might start losing interest because of the potential future with my ex!

Now, I definitely don’t want to be stringing him along, but I also want to suss him out for a bit longer to see if I want to ask him to be a bit more serious (we have only been on about 5 dates). Pleasee, I need help about making a judgement on what I should do next: do I tell this guy I am thinking I would like to be with him, or should I give it more time but risk losing him. If I do become a bit more serious with him, should I tell my ex straight away, or give it a bit of time? Orrrr should I just stop seeing this guy for some time and process the breakup fully, and then go from there?



Submitted November 03, 2022 at 01:02AM

Tldr; I’m very interested in a guy I’ve only met recently, but also have a chance to get back with my ex who I care for and know very well.My ex and I were together for a year and friends for two years. He broke things off (5 months ago). We were both going through difficult times with our mental health and couldn’t focus on each other. Now, other than this, we care about and trust each other so much. The sexual chemistry was 👌. And he is an all round fabulous guy.We are ‘low contact’ which is mostly no contact but we call every one or two months. Since breaking up, I’ve asked him if he thinks we will have a future. He’s said he honestly doesn’t know, although one time he accidentally said he would “definitely-“ and then stopped saying that, I believe it was to not mislead me? Anyway , for the first four months my hopes were very high.I made a tinder account about 2 months ago to make friends as I recently moved (which I was very honest about friendship-only to people on the app, and to myself). I stopped using it after about a month as I was too depressed (life in general) to go out and meet people.I went back on tinder a few weeks ago as I was in a much better headspace. I’ve made friends with three people. However, I have started to have feelings for one person and was completely caught off guard. I did become intimate with him, and we have really great chemistry all round. He has told me he is ideally looking for a relationship and seems interested in me. He knows where I’m at: that I’m still processing my breakup, and there is still a decent chance with my ex.However, I’ve stopped thinking of my ex so much. I rarely feel so sad about the breakup. Instead, I’m thinking about this guy and the cute dates I want to go on with him and how, maybe, he would be a wonderful partner. Only thing is that he might start losing interest because of the potential future with my ex!Now, I definitely don’t want to be stringing him along, but I also want to suss him out for a bit longer to see if I want to ask him to be a bit more serious (we have only been on about 5 dates). Pleasee, I need help about making a judgement on what I should do next: do I tell this guy I am thinking I would like to be with him, or should I give it more time but risk losing him. If I do become a bit more serious with him, should I tell my ex straight away, or give it a bit of time? Orrrr should I just stop seeing this guy for some time and process the breakup fully, and then go from there?
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