I cant form meaningful bonds, anyone that shows interests always ends up leaving. I need advice

I (21M) have been in a really situation all together, and my inabilty to bond is making the whole thing worse. Basically an issue whilst getting my greencard ended up with me being stuck outside the country in Mexico. This resulted in a lot of fights with my family, a lot of stress regarding university and my scholarship, and lastly it has really isolated me since Im not used to the culture here.

The issue arrises that even though around family, I have had really bad struggles meeting people. Not only meeting them, but getting to a point where they want to talk to me/be with me. This is either friends wise or relationship wise. This has always been something I struggled with, but now being stuck here truly isolated has really hit hard. I have tried from dating apps, going out, online, and even clubs/bars which I dont like.

The way it tends to go is the first impression is fine, and it seems really nice. However it must be the way I chat or talk? Maybe Im too intense or seem too boring? But yeah people always end up loosing interest over me. In a very consistent and frustrating manner. I have reached the conclusion that it's something I am doing rather than a bunch of coincidences.

And I know I shouldnt care about it and just do my thing, be confident and people will come. The problem is I been trying that for a while, and Im just getting in too of a bad mood after doing so for a while. I just want something and I cant figure out what it is I do drives people away.

Anyways yeah, I was hoping maybe you could give me some advice on how to change how I interact with people? I have tried giving them space, replying quickly, being nice and interested, acting busy and giving them time, etc. Any advice you could give me on how to interact with people or self reflect? I would appreciate it :)

TLDR: Im not sure what Im doing that doesnt make people stay.



Submitted October 15, 2022 at 01:04AM

I (21M) have been in a really situation all together, and my inabilty to bond is making the whole thing worse. Basically an issue whilst getting my greencard ended up with me being stuck outside the country in Mexico. This resulted in a lot of fights with my family, a lot of stress regarding university and my scholarship, and lastly it has really isolated me since Im not used to the culture here.The issue arrises that even though around family, I have had really bad struggles meeting people. Not only meeting them, but getting to a point where they want to talk to me/be with me. This is either friends wise or relationship wise. This has always been something I struggled with, but now being stuck here truly isolated has really hit hard. I have tried from dating apps, going out, online, and even clubs/bars which I dont like.The way it tends to go is the first impression is fine, and it seems really nice. However it must be the way I chat or talk? Maybe Im too intense or seem too boring? But yeah people always end up loosing interest over me. In a very consistent and frustrating manner. I have reached the conclusion that it's something I am doing rather than a bunch of coincidences.And I know I shouldnt care about it and just do my thing, be confident and people will come. The problem is I been trying that for a while, and Im just getting in too of a bad mood after doing so for a while. I just want something and I cant figure out what it is I do drives people away.Anyways yeah, I was hoping maybe you could give me some advice on how to change how I interact with people? I have tried giving them space, replying quickly, being nice and interested, acting busy and giving them time, etc. Any advice you could give me on how to interact with people or self reflect? I would appreciate it :)TLDR: Im not sure what Im doing that doesnt make people stay.
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