Committed in a non committed relationship

TLDR: its been 8 months and he hasn’t asked me to be his girlfriend.

I(F25) ended a 3-year relationship on Dec 2021 – took almost a year to get the balls to end things as things were quite complicated, pretty toxic and we were living together at the time. So by the time that got to an end i had no feelings or felt the need to even look at his face anymore.

Met this new guy (M27) through Instagram on Feb 2022 and since then we’ve been talking everyday and seeing each other pretty much every weekend - have spent 2 holidays (3 day holidays) on hotels with him, have been to his house and stuff.

I haven’t met his parent or friends and neither has he met mine (as mine live outside the country).

A couple months in we spoke about being exclusive.

And in conversation, he has said that he really likes me and has plans to live with me ( meanwhile he’s still at his parents) and book many other holidays out there with me. We’re even planning on spending new year’s together (he brought that up!!)

Last month I brought up the conversation (through message – since I chickened out of asking in person – due to anxiety) about the fact that he “hasn’t made it official” to which he responded that he just haven’t found the right time and since I had just left a long-term relationship, he didn’t want to rush things with me. I told him that sometimes that would just make me kinda insecure since its been almost a year and because in my head “he could just leave anytime without warning” to which he assured me that he was serious about us and wouldn’t do that.

And yeah I really like him and envision my future with him, but i just cant let my guard down because ive been hurt before.

The dilemma here is: until today there hasn’t been an official “do you want to be my gf” type of thing. Maybe i'm just overthinking things or maybe thats just a huge red flag that i'm trying not to see. Help a girl out.

Submitted October 10, 2022 at 12:01AM

TLDR: its been 8 months and he hasn’t asked me to be his girlfriend.I(F25) ended a 3-year relationship on Dec 2021 – took almost a year to get the balls to end things as things were quite complicated, pretty toxic and we were living together at the time. So by the time that got to an end i had no feelings or felt the need to even look at his face anymore.Met this new guy (M27) through Instagram on Feb 2022 and since then we’ve been talking everyday and seeing each other pretty much every weekend - have spent 2 holidays (3 day holidays) on hotels with him, have been to his house and stuff.I haven’t met his parent or friends and neither has he met mine (as mine live outside the country).A couple months in we spoke about being exclusive.And in conversation, he has said that he really likes me and has plans to live with me ( meanwhile he’s still at his parents) and book many other holidays out there with me. We’re even planning on spending new year’s together (he brought that up!!)Last month I brought up the conversation (through message – since I chickened out of asking in person – due to anxiety) about the fact that he “hasn’t made it official” to which he responded that he just haven’t found the right time and since I had just left a long-term relationship, he didn’t want to rush things with me. I told him that sometimes that would just make me kinda insecure since its been almost a year and because in my head “he could just leave anytime without warning” to which he assured me that he was serious about us and wouldn’t do that.And yeah I really like him and envision my future with him, but i just cant let my guard down because ive been hurt before.The dilemma here is: until today there hasn’t been an official “do you want to be my gf” type of thing. Maybe i'm just overthinking things or maybe thats just a huge red flag that i'm trying not to see. Help a girl out.