What’s the perfectly cutting thing to say to the older man who has played me like a fiddle?

I spend six months of the year in a small town in a foreign country. During the last few days of my stay, I slept with a much older man (I’m a 27 y/o woman, he’s in his late 50’s). We’ve had chemistry for a long time but I never thought he’d actually make a move on me - this town loves drama and gossip and you kind of have to keep a low profile to uphold your reputation. It’s silly but it’s the truth.

To make a long story short, I began to get the hunch he had a girlfriend because of his strange behavior afterwards. For example, the last night I was in town, he comes over but leaves at 9:30pm, saying he wants to come back first thing in the morning at 6:30am and get in bed with me while I’m waking up. That morning when he comes over, I ask him what the deal is/where his head is at. Perfect opportunity to tell me he has a gf. He says nothing about it. Just generic shit that men think women like to hear.

I leave the country. We talk every few days. He reaches out, he’s very responsive, he’s engaging. He tells me how rare and special our connection was, and that he thinks about me all the time. In our last conversation he literally says “don’t stop contacting me.” Then he ghosts me for five days.

During these last few days while he’s ghosting me, my friend tells me he DOES have a gf, and she happens to be a woman who he has mentioned several times as the “fabric lady.” Turns out they’ve been together for years and she shares a workshop with him. I’ve been inside this workshop many times with this man, admired this woman’s work out loud, and he’s just referred to her as “this lady.” The morning he came over at 6:30am, he told me he was running late because he had to let the “fabric lady” into the workshop.

I’m not one to send second a message after someone has ghosted, but I couldn’t help myself. I wanted to move on from the anxiety and anger I was feeling. I told him I had just learned of something that was making my skin crawl. He responded IMMEDIATELY: “hi how are you, what did you hear?”

Lol. I didn’t reply. I’ll let him sit with it for a few days. What should I say when I do?

Submitted September 28, 2022 at 12:14AM

I spend six months of the year in a small town in a foreign country. During the last few days of my stay, I slept with a much older man (I’m a 27 y/o woman, he’s in his late 50’s). We’ve had chemistry for a long time but I never thought he’d actually make a move on me - this town loves drama and gossip and you kind of have to keep a low profile to uphold your reputation. It’s silly but it’s the truth.To make a long story short, I began to get the hunch he had a girlfriend because of his strange behavior afterwards. For example, the last night I was in town, he comes over but leaves at 9:30pm, saying he wants to come back first thing in the morning at 6:30am and get in bed with me while I’m waking up. That morning when he comes over, I ask him what the deal is/where his head is at. Perfect opportunity to tell me he has a gf. He says nothing about it. Just generic shit that men think women like to hear.I leave the country. We talk every few days. He reaches out, he’s very responsive, he’s engaging. He tells me how rare and special our connection was, and that he thinks about me all the time. In our last conversation he literally says “don’t stop contacting me.” Then he ghosts me for five days.During these last few days while he’s ghosting me, my friend tells me he DOES have a gf, and she happens to be a woman who he has mentioned several times as the “fabric lady.” Turns out they’ve been together for years and she shares a workshop with him. I’ve been inside this workshop many times with this man, admired this woman’s work out loud, and he’s just referred to her as “this lady.” The morning he came over at 6:30am, he told me he was running late because he had to let the “fabric lady” into the workshop.I’m not one to send second a message after someone has ghosted, but I couldn’t help myself. I wanted to move on from the anxiety and anger I was feeling. I told him I had just learned of something that was making my skin crawl. He responded IMMEDIATELY: “hi how are you, what did you hear?”Lol. I didn’t reply. I’ll let him sit with it for a few days. What should I say when I do?