I'm the abuser in a trauma bond relationship, is change possible? Tell me your experience.

I'm dating this woman, and it seems like I betray her left and right and I keep saying I'll be better or that I'll never do it again. It's been a cycle, and she says the reason she's still with me is because she believes I'm a good person. Line for line, this is the epitome of a trauma bond. How can I stop, and is it even possible for me to change. I've read up on this and it says no, trauma bonds don't turn into healthy relationships, but I love her and I think she loves me, I hope it isn't a trauma bond illusion. So I'm asking if I'm hopeless and I should just let her know I won't be changing (I've said it before but she tells me I owe her to stay and just stop hurting her)



Submitted September 05, 2022 at 12:01AM

I'm dating this woman, and it seems like I betray her left and right and I keep saying I'll be better or that I'll never do it again. It's been a cycle, and she says the reason she's still with me is because she believes I'm a good person. Line for line, this is the epitome of a trauma bond. How can I stop, and is it even possible for me to change. I've read up on this and it says no, trauma bonds don't turn into healthy relationships, but I love her and I think she loves me, I hope it isn't a trauma bond illusion. So I'm asking if I'm hopeless and I should just let her know I won't be changing (I've said it before but she tells me I owe her to stay and just stop hurting her)
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