Anyone else notice this dating “pattern”?

Hi, I’m a 22F, in school and working, and also trying to find a steady relationship. I started taking dating more serious a little over a month ago, and I’ve noticed an annoying little “pattern” and just wanted to rant about it.

Basically, I’ll start talking to someone. It goes well—we connect, we agree on social/political issues, we’re attracted to each other, talk daily and wanna meet up. Then, we finally get to the date after talking for about two weeks straight, and it goes well! I think there’ll be a second date at least, we’re into the date and into each other, cuddle, talk about seeing each other again, and I start to get hopeful and excited.

And then, suddenly, they’re gone. Most typical reaction is that they ghost, or they’re not looking for anything serious(even if my profile says that’s what I’m looking for, and they said they’re open to smth long term too). This has happened like three times this month alone! I’m so tired of putting effort, time, and compassion into someone only for them to turn around and say “oh nvm, bye” essentially :( I ask questions, ask if they’re ok with everything, see if we’re compatible, and still nothing :( This isn’t just me putting in too much, I want the ppl to be comfortable w me, and I’ll ask if they’re ok and always respect boundaries. 9.9/10, they usually start flirting, making moves, and cuddling first.

I know this is smth that happens when dating, but idk, this one has just been happening too much to me. The third time was a breaking point. Deleted my dating apps the day after bc I’m just so done. It’s so frustrating and depressing.

I really just wanted to get this off my chest, and would just really appreciate some kind and encouraging words. Thanks so much.

Edit: some words



Submitted September 04, 2022 at 11:38PM

Hi, I’m a 22F, in school and working, and also trying to find a steady relationship. I started taking dating more serious a little over a month ago, and I’ve noticed an annoying little “pattern” and just wanted to rant about it.Basically, I’ll start talking to someone. It goes well—we connect, we agree on social/political issues, we’re attracted to each other, talk daily and wanna meet up. Then, we finally get to the date after talking for about two weeks straight, and it goes well! I think there’ll be a second date at least, we’re into the date and into each other, cuddle, talk about seeing each other again, and I start to get hopeful and excited.And then, suddenly, they’re gone. Most typical reaction is that they ghost, or they’re not looking for anything serious(even if my profile says that’s what I’m looking for, and they said they’re open to smth long term too). This has happened like three times this month alone! I’m so tired of putting effort, time, and compassion into someone only for them to turn around and say “oh nvm, bye” essentially :( I ask questions, ask if they’re ok with everything, see if we’re compatible, and still nothing :( This isn’t just me putting in too much, I want the ppl to be comfortable w me, and I’ll ask if they’re ok and always respect boundaries. 9.9/10, they usually start flirting, making moves, and cuddling first.I know this is smth that happens when dating, but idk, this one has just been happening too much to me. The third time was a breaking point. Deleted my dating apps the day after bc I’m just so done. It’s so frustrating and depressing.I really just wanted to get this off my chest, and would just really appreciate some kind and encouraging words. Thanks so much.Edit: some words
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