Am I "playing games" by waiting for him to text me first? (also posted on r/dating)

I don't doubt that in some contexts it could be, but I'm curious about people's thoughts on my situation.

I gave a stranger my number and he ended up texting me! It was great! We went on a date on Tuesday and it was also great! He even asked me if I was interested in a second date before I could even get out of his car as he dropped me back home! So I have no reason to think he's not interested, but...

The last guy I went on an awesome first date with, who insisted he was interested, flaked out on me so many times that I gave up. I tried to initiate things, make the first move, plan, and text first, but all in vain. I know men like it when the "woman" makes the first move, and I try to do that, I really do, but it gets tiring when it doesn't work out (I feel ya men).

I went back through the texts with this new guy and I initiated the conversation seven times, and he has only done it twice, with one of those times being the initial text after I gave him my number.

All of this to ask, am I doing something wrong by waiting for him to text me first now? I told him the next date would be my treat and that I can't wait to see what he chooses, so I've pretty much put the ball in his court. I always feel silly for purposefully not texting a guy because of the current "statistics", but I also don't want to get too invested and be disappointed again by someone who can't follow through.

Man, dating is hard 😅



Submitted July 17, 2022 at 12:02AM

I don't doubt that in some contexts it could be, but I'm curious about people's thoughts on my situation.I gave a stranger my number and he ended up texting me! It was great! We went on a date on Tuesday and it was also great! He even asked me if I was interested in a second date before I could even get out of his car as he dropped me back home! So I have no reason to think he's not interested, but...The last guy I went on an awesome first date with, who insisted he was interested, flaked out on me so many times that I gave up. I tried to initiate things, make the first move, plan, and text first, but all in vain. I know men like it when the "woman" makes the first move, and I try to do that, I really do, but it gets tiring when it doesn't work out (I feel ya men).I went back through the texts with this new guy and I initiated the conversation seven times, and he has only done it twice, with one of those times being the initial text after I gave him my number.All of this to ask, am I doing something wrong by waiting for him to text me first now? I told him the next date would be my treat and that I can't wait to see what he chooses, so I've pretty much put the ball in his court. I always feel silly for purposefully not texting a guy because of the current "statistics", but I also don't want to get too invested and be disappointed again by someone who can't follow through.Man, dating is hard 😅
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