Boyfriend has double standards- help!

So I(28F) had some problems lately with my long distance boyfriend (30M), who commented on Instagram on another woman's pics with hearts and fires. I found this completely disrespectful as this person was not a friend of his, but a visitor of the hotel he works. The woman was not responding on the comments. But 2 months ago was doing the same with me , was liking all my pics, putting comments like most beautiful person I ever met, my world and things like this. So I felt really sad we had an argument and I broke up with him at the moment I saw this on Instagram.

After days we discussed it and he tried manipulating me and saying me things like she was his friend and stupid things like this and a comment means nothing and doesn't flirt etc. Also told me that he doesn't spend money or say i love you on other women but only me . My point of view is different though. If he wants to pursue other person or 2nd gf he should stay single. Also this is actively flirting , what is the purpose of this ? To have sex most likely is pretty obvious , I see it this way. And I gave him an example. I told him ok you can comment pics if you want and I will comment too on men's pics. Then I sent him a pic of a really gorgeous and fit guy, German guy I met last summer . And I told him can I comment on this guy? I met him last summer and then visited him in berlin. Then he got pissed of and said me that he will block me on Instagram and if i want I can comment, he will not see anymore. Few minutes after he told me a story of a woman who asked him to take a selfie together and I shared a real event at the beach when 4-5 guys from England approached me and told me im stunning and we chatted . He got again very angry and told me to go to the English men if I want them. Then sent me texts obviously pissed off.

He said me that 2 months ago he was commenting my pics on Instagram but then I removed him . The truth is yes I removed him , then tried add him back but never accepted me back . Anyway, he also added that in the beginning I told him that I dance in a club and he had the impression like group dances and after 1 month I revealed that I work as a stripper. At this period ( after 1 month I told him and sent him video of me dancing) , his behavior towards me changed and he had huge trust issues and was arguing with me a lot. When I first met him I thought would be an one time thing since we live very far , so I didn't say all the details of my job in the beginning. But after I told him I knew he got initially very sad. In the end we tried reconcile but I still haven't moved on from this. He says that he accepted my strip club job and never judged me but I was so harsh on him for commenting on pics with hearts. I feel like I cannot trust him and even though I love him this seems like open relationship to me if he behaves like this . Also the 4-5 days we broke up , we were still talking but told me things like I broke his heart and every woman in the past too has broken his heart so now will try have sex with a gay man, this repeated many times and also that he will try find a couple to do 3some. In the end told me he didn't mean it but I got really hurt.

How can I move on from this? Is it any way to solve the situation and trust him again ? I still love him and will try give a chance, since he spends money on me , buying me gifts and when we are good together is romantic but these things he said and did hurted me . I wait your replies, thank you.

Submitted June 06, 2022 at 02:15AM

So I(28F) had some problems lately with my long distance boyfriend (30M), who commented on Instagram on another woman's pics with hearts and fires. I found this completely disrespectful as this person was not a friend of his, but a visitor of the hotel he works. The woman was not responding on the comments. But 2 months ago was doing the same with me , was liking all my pics, putting comments like most beautiful person I ever met, my world and things like this. So I felt really sad we had an argument and I broke up with him at the moment I saw this on Instagram.After days we discussed it and he tried manipulating me and saying me things like she was his friend and stupid things like this and a comment means nothing and doesn't flirt etc. Also told me that he doesn't spend money or say i love you on other women but only me . My point of view is different though. If he wants to pursue other person or 2nd gf he should stay single. Also this is actively flirting , what is the purpose of this ? To have sex most likely is pretty obvious , I see it this way. And I gave him an example. I told him ok you can comment pics if you want and I will comment too on men's pics. Then I sent him a pic of a really gorgeous and fit guy, German guy I met last summer . And I told him can I comment on this guy? I met him last summer and then visited him in berlin. Then he got pissed of and said me that he will block me on Instagram and if i want I can comment, he will not see anymore. Few minutes after he told me a story of a woman who asked him to take a selfie together and I shared a real event at the beach when 4-5 guys from England approached me and told me im stunning and we chatted . He got again very angry and told me to go to the English men if I want them. Then sent me texts obviously pissed off.He said me that 2 months ago he was commenting my pics on Instagram but then I removed him . The truth is yes I removed him , then tried add him back but never accepted me back . Anyway, he also added that in the beginning I told him that I dance in a club and he had the impression like group dances and after 1 month I revealed that I work as a stripper. At this period ( after 1 month I told him and sent him video of me dancing) , his behavior towards me changed and he had huge trust issues and was arguing with me a lot. When I first met him I thought would be an one time thing since we live very far , so I didn't say all the details of my job in the beginning. But after I told him I knew he got initially very sad. In the end we tried reconcile but I still haven't moved on from this. He says that he accepted my strip club job and never judged me but I was so harsh on him for commenting on pics with hearts. I feel like I cannot trust him and even though I love him this seems like open relationship to me if he behaves like this . Also the 4-5 days we broke up , we were still talking but told me things like I broke his heart and every woman in the past too has broken his heart so now will try have sex with a gay man, this repeated many times and also that he will try find a couple to do 3some. In the end told me he didn't mean it but I got really hurt.How can I move on from this? Is it any way to solve the situation and trust him again ? I still love him and will try give a chance, since he spends money on me , buying me gifts and when we are good together is romantic but these things he said and did hurted me . I wait your replies, thank you.