I’m constantly afraid/ wish I knew how to quiet my brain

I just need to get this out of me, I feel like I’m going insane. I’m so terrified of ruining every relationship I come into. All i can think is “well guess you just screwed that up” or “that’s any respect they had for you gone”

It hurts so fucking much to feel these things because I know damn well how irrational they are— I used to have major depression and as much as I hate to admit it I’m still holding on to that. People always want to protect me because they see me as emotional and vulnerable but I dont want to be that way! I don’t want to be afraid like this! I don’t feel this way with my friends. Only romantic partners. I never ever tell my partners this because I feel like they’ll think I’m clingy and leave me. I’m so scared all the time and it makes dating hell. I am an extremely affectionate person and love being in relationships because it allows me to express that but I don’t know how to stop feeling this way. It is absolute hell on earth



Submitted May 19, 2022 at 12:09AM

I just need to get this out of me, I feel like I’m going insane. I’m so terrified of ruining every relationship I come into. All i can think is “well guess you just screwed that up” or “that’s any respect they had for you gone”It hurts so fucking much to feel these things because I know damn well how irrational they are— I used to have major depression and as much as I hate to admit it I’m still holding on to that. People always want to protect me because they see me as emotional and vulnerable but I dont want to be that way! I don’t want to be afraid like this! I don’t feel this way with my friends. Only romantic partners. I never ever tell my partners this because I feel like they’ll think I’m clingy and leave me. I’m so scared all the time and it makes dating hell. I am an extremely affectionate person and love being in relationships because it allows me to express that but I don’t know how to stop feeling this way. It is absolute hell on earth
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