[M37] Struggling with fussiness the older I get...

I'm a 37-year-old male, living in Queenstown, New Zealand (Australian originally). I'm frienfly, great with conversation, and generally considered by some 'above average' looking. I live in a really awesome outdoor adventure town, where there are a lot of people with different lifestyles. I keep thinking this is a great spot to meet people I'm interested in, but I always find myself not overly interested in many people. Furthermore, I'm aware this is a problem, and I definitely accept that people can be great for you even if they are completely different. I'm also quite demotivated and introverted when not dating, and lack a social circle. When I am dating, I become much more outgoing and extroverted. This is super hard to balance.

I find I'm biased towards a personal cognitive check-list when assessing potential partners. At the moment, I am looking for a partner whom:

1) I find attractive (or at least above average in my own tastes), 2) I find interesting (some passions, hobbies or skill sets), 3) Finds me attractive (or at least above average in their own tastes), 4) Finds me interesting (accepting of some of my passions, hobbies or skill sets), 5) Is a nice, honest and genuine person, 6) Doesn't require social media validation every day.

I'm seeking advice on what are methods to use to remove such personal limitations on potential partners? At the moment, if any of the 6 criteria fails to be met, it just doesn't seem to work out for me.



Submitted March 05, 2022 at 12:10AM

I'm a 37-year-old male, living in Queenstown, New Zealand (Australian originally). I'm frienfly, great with conversation, and generally considered by some 'above average' looking. I live in a really awesome outdoor adventure town, where there are a lot of people with different lifestyles. I keep thinking this is a great spot to meet people I'm interested in, but I always find myself not overly interested in many people. Furthermore, I'm aware this is a problem, and I definitely accept that people can be great for you even if they are completely different. I'm also quite demotivated and introverted when not dating, and lack a social circle. When I am dating, I become much more outgoing and extroverted. This is super hard to balance.I find I'm biased towards a personal cognitive check-list when assessing potential partners. At the moment, I am looking for a partner whom:1) I find attractive (or at least above average in my own tastes), 2) I find interesting (some passions, hobbies or skill sets), 3) Finds me attractive (or at least above average in their own tastes), 4) Finds me interesting (accepting of some of my passions, hobbies or skill sets), 5) Is a nice, honest and genuine person, 6) Doesn't require social media validation every day.I'm seeking advice on what are methods to use to remove such personal limitations on potential partners? At the moment, if any of the 6 criteria fails to be met, it just doesn't seem to work out for me.
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