Unsure if he’s meeting other girls

So I’ve been seeing this guy since beginning of December. I like him a lot, we’ve got lots of common interests, he’s very attentive and respectful and I could imagine a future with him. So far we’ve seen each other about 8 times. We kissed on the first date, had sex on the third (it was amazing) and I’ve met his friends. Over Christmas he visited his home country for three weeks. He said I am open to meet other men but implied that he would not be happy about it. I didn’t because I like him. This Monday when he came back he asked if I went on dates I said I didn’t. He seemed pleased with that.

So today he said he had a white wine night with a friend at his friends house (a guy). I jokingly said that I only know girls to have white wine nights. He didn’t reply to that at all and I thought that maybe it was indeed a girl he was seeing. My gut feeling says I’m right but I also don’t know if I’m completely overreacting and reading too much into this.

We didn’t say specifically that we’re “exclusive” but I kind of thought we were because so far he hasn’t hinted at all that he was seeing others.

So I want to ask: - am I overreacting? - would it be unreasonable for me to feel betrayed if I waited for him for 3 weeks, told him that I waited and then he made plans with another girl? - is it too soon to ask him if he wants to be with me only?

I’m not really good with the steps of exclusivity. If I like someone, I spend time with them, see them every week, share intimacies I don’t see why I would be seeing other people. Like it doesn’t even cross my mind. So I don’t really have enough perspective on this and don’t want to come across to him as controlling or jealous.



Submitted January 21, 2022 at 12:09AM

So I’ve been seeing this guy since beginning of December. I like him a lot, we’ve got lots of common interests, he’s very attentive and respectful and I could imagine a future with him. So far we’ve seen each other about 8 times. We kissed on the first date, had sex on the third (it was amazing) and I’ve met his friends. Over Christmas he visited his home country for three weeks. He said I am open to meet other men but implied that he would not be happy about it. I didn’t because I like him. This Monday when he came back he asked if I went on dates I said I didn’t. He seemed pleased with that.So today he said he had a white wine night with a friend at his friends house (a guy). I jokingly said that I only know girls to have white wine nights. He didn’t reply to that at all and I thought that maybe it was indeed a girl he was seeing. My gut feeling says I’m right but I also don’t know if I’m completely overreacting and reading too much into this.We didn’t say specifically that we’re “exclusive” but I kind of thought we were because so far he hasn’t hinted at all that he was seeing others.So I want to ask: - am I overreacting? - would it be unreasonable for me to feel betrayed if I waited for him for 3 weeks, told him that I waited and then he made plans with another girl? - is it too soon to ask him if he wants to be with me only?I’m not really good with the steps of exclusivity. If I like someone, I spend time with them, see them every week, share intimacies I don’t see why I would be seeing other people. Like it doesn’t even cross my mind. So I don’t really have enough perspective on this and don’t want to come across to him as controlling or jealous.
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