/u/acewifee on Wife is Ace, looking for advice

Okay, we've talked

Turns out she is fraysexual. She thinks it fits how she feels & how she actually is very well & explains her past relationships perfectly

Imagine that, mid-40s and married for best part of 20yrs before you discover your sexual orientation

She tells me she is sexually attracted to others & had just told me she wasn't because of worry for my feelings

She's had a lot of partners & hookups, loved the thrill of it all, the chase, the new person novelty sex, but then after a doing the deed or after a few weeks at most felt nothing & killed the relationship

She said I was the first person that she didn't have sex with until after a few months of being together & by the time we attempted it she said it felt wrong & she was repulsed by it

I was a virgin, & very intimidated so I messed it up too, it could barely count as sex and I blamed myself

Each time we tried, her repulsion seemed worse until we just cuddled instead and has been that way for years

We have both fetishised the situation that I'm near as dammit a virgin who won't ever have sex properly, while she was very promiscuous… & I get my kicks that way & am very happy to do so

But this has left her repressing her sexuality for nearly 20 years, so lots of tears have flowed and I'm not happy she's felt unable to tell me, especially with the amount of love we share

But this Fray label appears to have lifted a weight and we're communicating openly

I'm just confused about what's next & how we move forward





January 21, 2022 at 12:40AM
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