Learning why dating strangers is better than from within established social circles

So, for the last month or so I've (40) been hanging out one-on-one with this woman (35) from a social group that I've been spending time with for the last year. I really like this group of people, but of course due to covid the whole "getting together and getting to know you" has been a slow process. At the end of November I started spending time with one woman, and so far it seems like we're having fun. We laugh a lot, we both spend time texting each other with both of us initiating. A couple days ago I let it be known via text that I like her and really want to spend more time with her.

She hasn't responded.

Now, my anxiety over my entire place in the group is at an all time high. I'm so worried that my advances weren't welcome and that she has started slamming me to the rest of the group. She's more of a core member, more outgoing than me and more assertive while I don't really post or get involved because I get busy and don't have a lot of time. I feel like I'm crawling out of my skin, desperate for some kind of reassurance, and hating myself for needing that reassurance so badly.

Really trying to play it cool and keep things relaxed outward, but inside I'm bouncing off the walls. Next time, I'll make an attempt when the entirety of my social standing isn't on the line.



Submitted January 12, 2022 at 12:08AM

So, for the last month or so I've (40) been hanging out one-on-one with this woman (35) from a social group that I've been spending time with for the last year. I really like this group of people, but of course due to covid the whole "getting together and getting to know you" has been a slow process. At the end of November I started spending time with one woman, and so far it seems like we're having fun. We laugh a lot, we both spend time texting each other with both of us initiating. A couple days ago I let it be known via text that I like her and really want to spend more time with her.She hasn't responded.Now, my anxiety over my entire place in the group is at an all time high. I'm so worried that my advances weren't welcome and that she has started slamming me to the rest of the group. She's more of a core member, more outgoing than me and more assertive while I don't really post or get involved because I get busy and don't have a lot of time. I feel like I'm crawling out of my skin, desperate for some kind of reassurance, and hating myself for needing that reassurance so badly.Really trying to play it cool and keep things relaxed outward, but inside I'm bouncing off the walls. Next time, I'll make an attempt when the entirety of my social standing isn't on the line.
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