I can’t tell if it was a hookup or if it meant something

So I (26F) met a guy (30M) on a cruise this holiday. By far one of the most attractive men I’ve ever met, and not just physically. He was kind, he treated me with respect, and we connected on all sorts of subjects (video games, music, movies, sci-fi, and investing to name a few.) He shared that his goal is to raise enough money to build a life and a family, and he shared without me asking. Even after we hooked up, he encouraged me to stay and cuddle.

The last day of the cruise, I told him that this would be a cherished memory of mine and how I would love to stay in contact. He confirmed that he wanted to keep in contact, too, but he wanted to be single for now since he just got out of a very serious long-term relationship. He also had a contract job that would keep him away for 5 months.

Well, almost a month later, he’s off working, and we’ve stayed in contact almost the entire time. But now it changes from one worded replies to 6 messages sent in a row. And it went from us replying every 20 minutes or so, to I’m lucky to get 2 replies per day. (His work doesn’t keep him occupied all day, for the record, it’s just a traveling gig.) On top of that, any time I try and ask about his life or make more connections or even be mildly flirty, he ignores it and just talks about subjects we’ve already talked about.

Am I beating a dead horse here? This is the kind of person I could see myself really falling for, but my anxiety is getting the better of me. I’ve been put in that “crazy girl who can’t take a hint” situation too many times, and I don’t know if I can do it again.



Submitted January 16, 2022 at 01:13AM

So I (26F) met a guy (30M) on a cruise this holiday. By far one of the most attractive men I’ve ever met, and not just physically. He was kind, he treated me with respect, and we connected on all sorts of subjects (video games, music, movies, sci-fi, and investing to name a few.) He shared that his goal is to raise enough money to build a life and a family, and he shared without me asking. Even after we hooked up, he encouraged me to stay and cuddle.The last day of the cruise, I told him that this would be a cherished memory of mine and how I would love to stay in contact. He confirmed that he wanted to keep in contact, too, but he wanted to be single for now since he just got out of a very serious long-term relationship. He also had a contract job that would keep him away for 5 months.Well, almost a month later, he’s off working, and we’ve stayed in contact almost the entire time. But now it changes from one worded replies to 6 messages sent in a row. And it went from us replying every 20 minutes or so, to I’m lucky to get 2 replies per day. (His work doesn’t keep him occupied all day, for the record, it’s just a traveling gig.) On top of that, any time I try and ask about his life or make more connections or even be mildly flirty, he ignores it and just talks about subjects we’ve already talked about.Am I beating a dead horse here? This is the kind of person I could see myself really falling for, but my anxiety is getting the better of me. I’ve been put in that “crazy girl who can’t take a hint” situation too many times, and I don’t know if I can do it again.
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