19F and I'm VERY sexually frustrated

Okay so... I should start with a disclaimer, I have been drinking a bit, so this is the only time I would ever post something like this. Sorry if my grammar or spelling is horrible. Hopefully, Grammarly comes in clutch here. Also, this is an alt account for obvious reasons lmao.

I'm a 19-year-old (about to be 20) female who's a virgin. Recently, though, my sex drive is through the fucking roof. My entire day consists of me thinking about nothing but sex. I've even been close to leaving work early because of it...

In high school, I repressed my sexual desires completely. I did have boyfriends, yes, but I never let it get farther than kissing due to fear. All of the females in my family are more than likely legit undiagnosed sex addicts, and I grew up in a very sex-oriented environment. I guess, seeing these women ruin their lives over sex kind of scared me away from it. I'm scared to do ANYTHING sexual because I'm afraid to become like them.

I want to lose my virginity (not because of social constructs, just because I want to have *real* sex), but I am terrified to deep down. Relationships intimidate me as well, and I've always panicked when it got to the sex stage even when I really want it.

What do I do?? I've thought of just having a one-night stand, but that just isn't safe and it will more than likely not be a good experience... I don't see myself as unattractive or deeply insecure. I used to be, but since I lost weight and got treated for anxiety, I'm somewhat confident in my body. When I actually do go places outside of work, men hit on me often but I never act on it even though all I can think about is jumping their bones. I just don't know where to go from that. How does one even get to *that* stage when they're a bit socially awkward and scared?? Does anyone have any advice? I could really use it right now. Thank you in advance. :)



Submitted November 04, 2021 at 12:34AM

Okay so... I should start with a disclaimer, I have been drinking a bit, so this is the only time I would ever post something like this. Sorry if my grammar or spelling is horrible. Hopefully, Grammarly comes in clutch here. Also, this is an alt account for obvious reasons lmao.I'm a 19-year-old (about to be 20) female who's a virgin. Recently, though, my sex drive is through the fucking roof. My entire day consists of me thinking about nothing but sex. I've even been close to leaving work early because of it...In high school, I repressed my sexual desires completely. I did have boyfriends, yes, but I never let it get farther than kissing due to fear. All of the females in my family are more than likely legit undiagnosed sex addicts, and I grew up in a very sex-oriented environment. I guess, seeing these women ruin their lives over sex kind of scared me away from it. I'm scared to do ANYTHING sexual because I'm afraid to become like them.I want to lose my virginity (not because of social constructs, just because I want to have *real* sex), but I am terrified to deep down. Relationships intimidate me as well, and I've always panicked when it got to the sex stage even when I really want it.What do I do?? I've thought of just having a one-night stand, but that just isn't safe and it will more than likely not be a good experience... I don't see myself as unattractive or deeply insecure. I used to be, but since I lost weight and got treated for anxiety, I'm somewhat confident in my body. When I actually do go places outside of work, men hit on me often but I never act on it even though all I can think about is jumping their bones. I just don't know where to go from that. How does one even get to *that* stage when they're a bit socially awkward and scared?? Does anyone have any advice? I could really use it right now. Thank you in advance. :)
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