Dating is the journey, sex is the destination

I just finished a therapy session and when I brought up the topic of sex after sexual abuse. I told my therapist I’d been reading here. She said dating is the journey and sex is the destination. I’m not sure if I agree with that, can’t it be both? Like you get to know each other, have sex, and know each other better.

She talked about the importance of both people being attracted to one another before sex. I found this confusing as well. If I only took off my clothes for someone I found attractive then I’d never have had any sex. If I only took off my clothes for something that felt good I’d just be eating a lot of Nutella in the buff. Can’t sex be about wanting to briefly feel good or cementing a relationship or just wanting to be normal? Though I have started to find men attractive so maybe it’s coming?

I ended the session telling her to go ahead and book the family a trip to Disney World- because I think by the time I’m done sorting all this out she could spring for Grand Floridian.



Submitted September 10, 2021 at 11:03PM

I just finished a therapy session and when I brought up the topic of sex after sexual abuse. I told my therapist I’d been reading here. She said dating is the journey and sex is the destination. I’m not sure if I agree with that, can’t it be both? Like you get to know each other, have sex, and know each other better.She talked about the importance of both people being attracted to one another before sex. I found this confusing as well. If I only took off my clothes for someone I found attractive then I’d never have had any sex. If I only took off my clothes for something that felt good I’d just be eating a lot of Nutella in the buff. Can’t sex be about wanting to briefly feel good or cementing a relationship or just wanting to be normal? Though I have started to find men attractive so maybe it’s coming?I ended the session telling her to go ahead and book the family a trip to Disney World- because I think by the time I’m done sorting all this out she could spring for Grand Floridian.
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