Need help interpreting these words from a woman

"I want you in my life, but I need time. I want us to start as friends and work our way potentially into something if that's where we end up. I'm asking for time which is a lot to ask for. I need time to get to know and understand you to let my walls go down. Or I shut down and run. If you can work with that solid, if not I won't blame you."

I'm (23m) very keen on this woman (22F), so let's just say it's in my high interest to "work my way potentially into something with her". I wish to be very diligent about her requests so I want to work hard to make it work for us. However, I can't stop thinking about the way she phrased that particular line. She has told me she struggles with intimacy and trusting people in the past so it's not a huge surprise that she is not about to just dive into a relationship like that. But, the possibly insecure side of me wonders if that something she said because she's not all actually that interested in a relationship with me? I feel like I cannot rationally answer that question.

She has been in one pretty bad relationship, of which she has talked to me about in pretty deep detail. As well, her home environment is pretty terrible. Picture quite a number of alcoholics involved, her not included. Lastly, I have a lot of reason to believe she is NOT lying about any of these words, based on what we talked about in regards to her relationships and home life. That being said... I cannot ascertain if she would be seriously interested in a relationship if I did in fact manage to give her the time and respect for her to feel open to being in a relationship.

If the answer seems obvious to you, plz do not tear into me over it. I've been pretty badly bullied over my lack of relationship experience so it's been very hard for me to have sense of level-headedness and confidence about them. These words may seem clear cut to you, but for me they could go many directions.



Submitted July 21, 2021 at 05:32AM

"I want you in my life, but I need time. I want us to start as friends and work our way potentially into something if that's where we end up. I'm asking for time which is a lot to ask for. I need time to get to know and understand you to let my walls go down. Or I shut down and run. If you can work with that solid, if not I won't blame you."I'm (23m) very keen on this woman (22F), so let's just say it's in my high interest to "work my way potentially into something with her". I wish to be very diligent about her requests so I want to work hard to make it work for us. However, I can't stop thinking about the way she phrased that particular line. She has told me she struggles with intimacy and trusting people in the past so it's not a huge surprise that she is not about to just dive into a relationship like that. But, the possibly insecure side of me wonders if that something she said because she's not all actually that interested in a relationship with me? I feel like I cannot rationally answer that question.She has been in one pretty bad relationship, of which she has talked to me about in pretty deep detail. As well, her home environment is pretty terrible. Picture quite a number of alcoholics involved, her not included. Lastly, I have a lot of reason to believe she is NOT lying about any of these words, based on what we talked about in regards to her relationships and home life. That being said... I cannot ascertain if she would be seriously interested in a relationship if I did in fact manage to give her the time and respect for her to feel open to being in a relationship.If the answer seems obvious to you, plz do not tear into me over it. I've been pretty badly bullied over my lack of relationship experience so it's been very hard for me to have sense of level-headedness and confidence about them. These words may seem clear cut to you, but for me they could go many directions.
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