/u/thesmellofdust on I know I'm asexual, but don't know if I'm aromantic too???

I've been thinking of the way to ask this where the tone of voice is with kindness. But it's hard to get the correct tone when writing. I hope it comes through as intended.

Do you need to decide right away if you are aromantic or not?

I'm in a similar place as you in my life. I love fictional characters mostly because I know I'll never have to meet them. I'm on the extreme end of the introvert scale. If it was 100 years ago, I would be one of those people who never spoke or make eye contact and lived in a hut in the woods with chickens. Actually, I think I'm that way now. Only with geese and sheep as well as the chickens. This is a big part of making me wonder if I'm aromantic or just antisocial or both.

And yet, I would like to find another person I could trust enough to spend the rest of my life living with. Someone who can understand that I'm not going to speak for days and this doesn't mean anything bad about them. And I would in tern accept their natural tendencies and we would live together and build a life together but be individuals and platonic. I don't know if that dream is romantic or not.

But I have decided I don't need to decide just now. I feel a lot of pressure in my self and my social interactions to not be single. But it's okay to be single. Make friends without having to pursue romantic relationships. It's okay to wait and see what happens. At least, I hope it is because that's the path I'm trying.





April 11, 2021 at 11:32PM
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Add Comments, Posts, Links... etc.

Popular posts from this blog

The difference between being right and being understood

My boyfriend and I are 28. We’ve been together for about 1.5 years and recently moved in together. He’s a pretty patient and easygoing person (Type B) whereas I’m more particular (Type A). Of course there are two sides to every trait, and my Type A nature benefits us in some ways too. Like all couples, we have differences in perspective or preference. When this happens, he will usually say something like “I disagree (with your perspective) but fine.” I tend to push the issue in an attempt to get him to understand where I’m coming from. This escalates the disagreement into a fight because he perceives it as me trying to be “right”. I truly just want to be understood (and I want to understand where he’s coming from) so I’m looking for more of a dialogue whereas he avoids conflict and just wants it to be over as quickly as possible. His general approach is “agree to disagree” but that doesn’t make sense to me when it’s an issue that will keep coming up and requires compromise. I’m n...
Read more

My (27f) gf (27f) is getting tired of me not sharing intimate/ personal info about me

I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love with her, however I can not seem to open up... and I can tell it’s frustrating to her by the way she tells me it bothers her that she feels she’s the only one committed and the one that’s always sharing... At this point I don’t even know if it is that I’ve gotten too used to it, to the point I’ve became lazy to talk about myself or give any genuine personal opinion... it sucks, really, I need to communicate better... Where do I start? Tl;dr: I can’t be completely intimate with my gf and its frustrating her, I need to communicate better because I really love her... where to start? Submitted April 25, 2019 at 06:02AM I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love ...
Read more

My (23M) girlfriend (25F) relationship is confusing to me. I might be the problem, or maybe we are just incompatible.

I met my girlfriend after a few serious breakups that led me to change both intentionally and unintentionally over a few years. For better and for worse. She had just gotten out of an engagement with a verbally and physically abusive man who had a cocaine problem. We have been together about 8 months now. We hit it off and spent a lot of time together but she began to push our relationship as if there were a time clock for milestones. I was pressed beyond my comfort zone and went with it because of my affection for her. My living situation fell apart and I lost a few thousand dollars to shit roommates right around the time she and I met and she offered to let me stay with her. I agreed with some resistance. I pay for food, help her with bills, and throw money toward rent while trying to get back on my feet. As long as we have been together she has gotten more possessive, angry, and irrational. She is dealing with shit from her engagement and I feel shes looking for a level of seriou...
Read more