(24M) Need Advice. Scared of committing to anything serious.

So about 2 years ago now my last serious relationship (GF) ended on a mutual note but in a kind way and we helped each other through the breakup as we were both going in different directions in life and still maintain a friendship. We dated mostly Long Distance for almost 6 years. Ever since the break up I've been on a few dates and talked to a lot of people and realized I was also Bi. That being said though I noticed anytime something between me and a potential partner was getting serious I would back off because I didn't want to get into anything because I didn't want to get hurt again to such an extent as I took the last breakup really bad. Didn't do anything bad or anything like that just was questioning everything about the relationship. It took time but I slowly came to understand that it was us both going in vastly different directions with the major things in life. I'm not angry about it anymore but I do still have this major fear of committing to a relationship again and getting to close to people. I easily make friends even though I am very selective of my friends but can't seem to shake the fear of getting into a relationship or know how to even start one again as it has been so long since I managed to get into a relationship.

Was wondering if any of you had any advice on letting go of that fear or if it always stays with you and how to deal with it as I really do want to open myself up again to someone. And if you have any tips on getting into a relationship again. Thanks!



Submitted February 02, 2021 at 12:10AM

So about 2 years ago now my last serious relationship (GF) ended on a mutual note but in a kind way and we helped each other through the breakup as we were both going in different directions in life and still maintain a friendship. We dated mostly Long Distance for almost 6 years. Ever since the break up I've been on a few dates and talked to a lot of people and realized I was also Bi. That being said though I noticed anytime something between me and a potential partner was getting serious I would back off because I didn't want to get into anything because I didn't want to get hurt again to such an extent as I took the last breakup really bad. Didn't do anything bad or anything like that just was questioning everything about the relationship. It took time but I slowly came to understand that it was us both going in vastly different directions with the major things in life. I'm not angry about it anymore but I do still have this major fear of committing to a relationship again and getting to close to people. I easily make friends even though I am very selective of my friends but can't seem to shake the fear of getting into a relationship or know how to even start one again as it has been so long since I managed to get into a relationship.Was wondering if any of you had any advice on letting go of that fear or if it always stays with you and how to deal with it as I really do want to open myself up again to someone. And if you have any tips on getting into a relationship again. Thanks!
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Add Comments, Posts, Links... etc.

Popular posts from this blog

The difference between being right and being understood

My boyfriend and I are 28. We’ve been together for about 1.5 years and recently moved in together. He’s a pretty patient and easygoing person (Type B) whereas I’m more particular (Type A). Of course there are two sides to every trait, and my Type A nature benefits us in some ways too. Like all couples, we have differences in perspective or preference. When this happens, he will usually say something like “I disagree (with your perspective) but fine.” I tend to push the issue in an attempt to get him to understand where I’m coming from. This escalates the disagreement into a fight because he perceives it as me trying to be “right”. I truly just want to be understood (and I want to understand where he’s coming from) so I’m looking for more of a dialogue whereas he avoids conflict and just wants it to be over as quickly as possible. His general approach is “agree to disagree” but that doesn’t make sense to me when it’s an issue that will keep coming up and requires compromise. I’m n...
Read more

My (27f) gf (27f) is getting tired of me not sharing intimate/ personal info about me

I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love with her, however I can not seem to open up... and I can tell it’s frustrating to her by the way she tells me it bothers her that she feels she’s the only one committed and the one that’s always sharing... At this point I don’t even know if it is that I’ve gotten too used to it, to the point I’ve became lazy to talk about myself or give any genuine personal opinion... it sucks, really, I need to communicate better... Where do I start? Tl;dr: I can’t be completely intimate with my gf and its frustrating her, I need to communicate better because I really love her... where to start? Submitted April 25, 2019 at 06:02AM I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love ...
Read more

My (23M) girlfriend (25F) relationship is confusing to me. I might be the problem, or maybe we are just incompatible.

I met my girlfriend after a few serious breakups that led me to change both intentionally and unintentionally over a few years. For better and for worse. She had just gotten out of an engagement with a verbally and physically abusive man who had a cocaine problem. We have been together about 8 months now. We hit it off and spent a lot of time together but she began to push our relationship as if there were a time clock for milestones. I was pressed beyond my comfort zone and went with it because of my affection for her. My living situation fell apart and I lost a few thousand dollars to shit roommates right around the time she and I met and she offered to let me stay with her. I agreed with some resistance. I pay for food, help her with bills, and throw money toward rent while trying to get back on my feet. As long as we have been together she has gotten more possessive, angry, and irrational. She is dealing with shit from her engagement and I feel shes looking for a level of seriou...
Read more