/u/Cakeyplane on For Asexuals in Romantic Relationships...

My romantic relationship has been through a lot of stages, and so has my relation to sex. I’m currently married to an allo, and I love her so very dearly. I don’t really know what type of ace I am, I kinda never really felt like adding an additional label to myself other than asexual, but I am defo gonna figure it out once I get a handle on what ever the hell my gender identity is doing. Me and wife used to have sex, it was like at the 9 month point in we did it, but it was never really and expression of love just more of a “what fantasy/kink shall we explore” and at least for me was more like not having sex with her, but experiencing the action of sex. But since moving in with each over and getting married sex had just be erased from our lives. It’s not something we feel like doing at the moment. Before I even asked her out (which I did in my pjs after running to catch up to her, cause her fiend told me she was waiting for the last bus. and I had the realisation that I had a romantic crush like 10 mins earlier and just could not sleep with that information) even then I talked about being Ace and that I might not want to do the sex. Even when we started dating we came back to the topic like every time it felt natural and were both super open about it. Sex has never been a thing we did to express closeness, and I am super happy for that. Heck 70 % of the time one of us is going to feel touch adverse We lay in bed together just letting ourselves feel the warmth and breath of another human being. We cook together (which is often me just standing in the kitchen ready to take orders). We play a few video games together. We hold each other like the world isn’t around us. We don’t watch tv together because we have different tastes in shows which means we aren’t in front of a screen when we are together. Moments when I feel truly close are when it takes me extra long to get out of bed due to depression and she will just let me lay next to her as she reads on her phone, and just ever now and again Stoke my hair. I love my wife so much.





January 16, 2021 at 11:48PM
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Add Comments, Posts, Links... etc.

Popular posts from this blog

The difference between being right and being understood

My boyfriend and I are 28. We’ve been together for about 1.5 years and recently moved in together. He’s a pretty patient and easygoing person (Type B) whereas I’m more particular (Type A). Of course there are two sides to every trait, and my Type A nature benefits us in some ways too. Like all couples, we have differences in perspective or preference. When this happens, he will usually say something like “I disagree (with your perspective) but fine.” I tend to push the issue in an attempt to get him to understand where I’m coming from. This escalates the disagreement into a fight because he perceives it as me trying to be “right”. I truly just want to be understood (and I want to understand where he’s coming from) so I’m looking for more of a dialogue whereas he avoids conflict and just wants it to be over as quickly as possible. His general approach is “agree to disagree” but that doesn’t make sense to me when it’s an issue that will keep coming up and requires compromise. I’m n...
Read more

My (27f) gf (27f) is getting tired of me not sharing intimate/ personal info about me

I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love with her, however I can not seem to open up... and I can tell it’s frustrating to her by the way she tells me it bothers her that she feels she’s the only one committed and the one that’s always sharing... At this point I don’t even know if it is that I’ve gotten too used to it, to the point I’ve became lazy to talk about myself or give any genuine personal opinion... it sucks, really, I need to communicate better... Where do I start? Tl;dr: I can’t be completely intimate with my gf and its frustrating her, I need to communicate better because I really love her... where to start? Submitted April 25, 2019 at 06:02AM I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love ...
Read more

My (23M) girlfriend (25F) relationship is confusing to me. I might be the problem, or maybe we are just incompatible.

I met my girlfriend after a few serious breakups that led me to change both intentionally and unintentionally over a few years. For better and for worse. She had just gotten out of an engagement with a verbally and physically abusive man who had a cocaine problem. We have been together about 8 months now. We hit it off and spent a lot of time together but she began to push our relationship as if there were a time clock for milestones. I was pressed beyond my comfort zone and went with it because of my affection for her. My living situation fell apart and I lost a few thousand dollars to shit roommates right around the time she and I met and she offered to let me stay with her. I agreed with some resistance. I pay for food, help her with bills, and throw money toward rent while trying to get back on my feet. As long as we have been together she has gotten more possessive, angry, and irrational. She is dealing with shit from her engagement and I feel shes looking for a level of seriou...
Read more