/u/Cakeyplane on For Asexuals in Romantic Relationships...

My romantic relationship has been through a lot of stages, and so has my relation to sex. I’m currently married to an allo, and I love her so very dearly. I don’t really know what type of ace I am, I kinda never really felt like adding an additional label to myself other than asexual, but I am defo gonna figure it out once I get a handle on what ever the hell my gender identity is doing. Me and wife used to have sex, it was like at the 9 month point in we did it, but it was never really and expression of love just more of a “what fantasy/kink shall we explore” and at least for me was more like not having sex with her, but experiencing the action of sex. But since moving in with each over and getting married sex had just be erased from our lives. It’s not something we feel like doing at the moment. Before I even asked her out (which I did in my pjs after running to catch up to her, cause her fiend told me she was waiting for the last bus. and I had the realisation that I had a romantic crush like 10 mins earlier and just could not sleep with that information) even then I talked about being Ace and that I might not want to do the sex. Even when we started dating we came back to the topic like every time it felt natural and were both super open about it. Sex has never been a thing we did to express closeness, and I am super happy for that. Heck 70 % of the time one of us is going to feel touch adverse We lay in bed together just letting ourselves feel the warmth and breath of another human being. We cook together (which is often me just standing in the kitchen ready to take orders). We play a few video games together. We hold each other like the world isn’t around us. We don’t watch tv together because we have different tastes in shows which means we aren’t in front of a screen when we are together. Moments when I feel truly close are when it takes me extra long to get out of bed due to depression and she will just let me lay next to her as she reads on her phone, and just ever now and again Stoke my hair. I love my wife so much.





January 16, 2021 at 11:48PM
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