/u/crackedglassbottle on A friend said something and I don't know why it keeps bothering me

It sounds like L hijacked your experience and reframed it around themselves instead, but it's difficult for anyone to say anything against that because their personal negative experience with the label is as valid as anyone's positive one. They're not wrong in saying that some few people really don't know what they are at that age, and that giving themselves a label only to find out later that it never fit them can cause harm. That's an experience a lot of ace people can probably sympathize with. How many of us at that age thought we were bi or straight or gay before we realized?

I don't want to say anything negative about L, because, again, their experience was a valid one, but I can also see why their comment would feel problematic. It's exactly the same argument used by people who say asexuality isn't real. What happened then is that someone took a character who could have been ace and made them allo instead, and not only that but they used an aphobe argument to justify that erasure, but they did it in a way that's difficult to say anything against.

I don't suppose there's a way for another character to realize they were ace all along, or for a guest ace character to show up in an episode?

November 13, 2020 at 12:01AM