/u/OverlyCheerfulNPC on Ah yes, my annual reminder to stay off r/relationshipadvice

I read through all the comments and it's very mature of you to have apologized for the unnecessary meanness, and I'd just like add my two cents: that discomfort can technically hurt you.

Discomfort in and of itself can lead to trauma. I have had a few individuals over the years who have made me uncomfortable by touching me (mostly non-sexually) without my consent. I was not hurt, no one forced themselves on me, I was just made uncomfortable. But now I am very aggressive about not being touched, and I will not touch anyone without specifically being told I'm allowed to at least once because I never want to be the reason someone felt like I did. I was made uncomfortable by years of people trying to coerce me into dating a guy I had no interest in. That discomfort, over the years, damaged my mental health because I was made to feel like I was nothing if I wasn't a potential girlfriend to someone. I was made uncomfortable seeing a crucifix because I was little and thought Jesus had been tied to the cross, not nailed. The shock and discomfort of that left me with an irrational phobia of sharp things going through the hands and feet. Being uncomfortable can lead to lasting psychological effects that are harmful, even if it's just harmful coping mechanisms like my aggression towards physical contact.





October 25, 2020 at 11:52PM
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