/u/noneneon on I finally got my ring! No one knows I'm ace, so this is a really big step for me.

Valid question! We live in a world that puts (hetero) sex and romance on a very high pedestal, along with amatonormativity (idea that having one exclusive romantic/sexual relationship is a universally shared goal). That leaves many people who don't conform to those things left feeling like an outcast, different or broken. It affects our worldviews, life, and experiences with others.

So, you might see how ace (and aro) people can relate to other lgbt+ experiences. I can't talk for anyone else's experiences but my own (I'm aroace), but feeling like a part of a community, feeling not alone in my struggles, and finding terms to describe my experiences are very valuable to me.

It's very tiring that everyone expects me being straight. My parents expecting grandchildren. People asking about potential partners. So coming out can be as liberating (and scary) of an experience as for any non-straight person.

Flags and other pride stuff is well, about pride. You don't feel shame or pride, but many have felt shame about their identity. So turning it upside down and showing outward pride about it can be very cathartic. Another plus is visibility. The more we show pride, more people know about asexuality and might find comfort knowing they're not alone.

Ace rings are just cute, in my opinion. I sometimes wear one. It might be an outward expression of pride, though mostly only other ace people know about it. For me, it's more for myself. Sometimes I feel like shit, and it reminds me that it's okay. I'm okay.

Sorry, this became very long and rambly. Main thing is: people have different experiences and feelings. It's totally cool to feel how you feel. For some other people these things are important.

October 15, 2020 at 11:39PM