How do i address this "bad behavior"? Am i overreacting?

Hey y'all i first posted in r/dating but i had no idea new accounts posts got deleted so it got old, i wanted to make sure i got some advice before addressing this guy so I'm reposting.

I'm an african american woman(27) and recently an african-asian mixed guy(23) (i mention because maybe it's partly because of cultural difference and someone may have insight on that) that i had talked to on tinder a few months back has come back wanting to date me, but now he's being what i feel is hypocritical and dismissive.

First we just talked normally and he was super flirty and cute but he kept pestering me to see more pictures. My tinder had 6 pictures and my messaging app that we later switched to had more than 10 so i asked why he kept badgering me, especially because i only had three of his to see, so he backed off but seemed reluctant.

Then he began to say i should come to his city and spend time with him. The first two times i deflected playfully but then the third time i just said plainly i dont know you well enougb to be going to your city after reconnecting only a few days ago and continuing to ask is rude additionally asking this much of me when you haven't made stronger efforts to know me by text or call is too much. So he dropped it and we went back to talking normally but he would keep hinting how he wants to see me (that's fine!) But i just let him know with school and money it's not feasible now.

Fast forward a week and now he's making a more honest effort to know me and me to him as well and he admits he's looking for a serious relationship and i tell him i am as well. The issue of seeing each other comes up again and he mentions how he understands I'm reluctant, especially because meeting a stranger in a new city is scary but he wants to see me. I agree that it is a bit scary and additionally I'm not feeling financially up to going that far and he offers to pay for me, i don't believe in that since we hadn't even met so i say instead he spends his money on himself by coming to me and I'll take care of him but he says it's inconvenient for him, oblivious to the fact it'd be the same for me. When i point it out he just says again come to me but trying to be cute about it ex."can't you just come to me? 😅" I try and compromise by suggesting phone dates for now and he says it's too boring but when he sees i won't budge he gives in.

I tried to set one up tonight when he got off work (at 7:30)and i just waited for him to text me becayse i didn't want to push him if he was tired. He texted me at 9:30 and i let him know whenever he was ready we could do our "date" and he said he needed a few minutes. an hour and a half later i still got no messsage from him so i got frustrated and i knew if we talked i might end up showing that, so 10 minutes later i just told him we can cancel it and I'd talk to him later. 30 minutes later his only reply was "hmm" and i got frustrated all over again because i saw i wasn't even worth an "ok" or "I'm sorry" or even an excuse.

I want to properly express to him tomorrow that his hyprocritical demands of me and being dismissive of what i was saying was not ok but frankly i never really dated and don't know how to do it. If I'm overreacting please let me know, I'm just getting bad vibes.

P.s. Another thing i was bothered by was i looked through his stories and he posted a screenshot of him laughing with a friend about breaking up with his girlfriend and his caption said how thesedays he doesn't care at all. I don't know if it was recent but if it is it's messed up because the time stamp on the messages was 7:45, 15 minutes after his job ends, and he said he'd last broken up with his girlfriend months ago so i wonder was he talking about me.

Submitted October 06, 2020 at 11:47PM

Hey y'all i first posted in r/dating but i had no idea new accounts posts got deleted so it got old, i wanted to make sure i got some advice before addressing this guy so I'm reposting.I'm an african american woman(27) and recently an african-asian mixed guy(23) (i mention because maybe it's partly because of cultural difference and someone may have insight on that) that i had talked to on tinder a few months back has come back wanting to date me, but now he's being what i feel is hypocritical and dismissive.First we just talked normally and he was super flirty and cute but he kept pestering me to see more pictures. My tinder had 6 pictures and my messaging app that we later switched to had more than 10 so i asked why he kept badgering me, especially because i only had three of his to see, so he backed off but seemed reluctant.Then he began to say i should come to his city and spend time with him. The first two times i deflected playfully but then the third time i just said plainly i dont know you well enougb to be going to your city after reconnecting only a few days ago and continuing to ask is rude additionally asking this much of me when you haven't made stronger efforts to know me by text or call is too much. So he dropped it and we went back to talking normally but he would keep hinting how he wants to see me (that's fine!) But i just let him know with school and money it's not feasible now.Fast forward a week and now he's making a more honest effort to know me and me to him as well and he admits he's looking for a serious relationship and i tell him i am as well. The issue of seeing each other comes up again and he mentions how he understands I'm reluctant, especially because meeting a stranger in a new city is scary but he wants to see me. I agree that it is a bit scary and additionally I'm not feeling financially up to going that far and he offers to pay for me, i don't believe in that since we hadn't even met so i say instead he spends his money on himself by coming to me and I'll take care of him but he says it's inconvenient for him, oblivious to the fact it'd be the same for me. When i point it out he just says again come to me but trying to be cute about it ex."can't you just come to me? 😅" I try and compromise by suggesting phone dates for now and he says it's too boring but when he sees i won't budge he gives in.I tried to set one up tonight when he got off work (at 7:30)and i just waited for him to text me becayse i didn't want to push him if he was tired. He texted me at 9:30 and i let him know whenever he was ready we could do our "date" and he said he needed a few minutes. an hour and a half later i still got no messsage from him so i got frustrated and i knew if we talked i might end up showing that, so 10 minutes later i just told him we can cancel it and I'd talk to him later. 30 minutes later his only reply was "hmm" and i got frustrated all over again because i saw i wasn't even worth an "ok" or "I'm sorry" or even an excuse.I want to properly express to him tomorrow that his hyprocritical demands of me and being dismissive of what i was saying was not ok but frankly i never really dated and don't know how to do it. If I'm overreacting please let me know, I'm just getting bad vibes.P.s. Another thing i was bothered by was i looked through his stories and he posted a screenshot of him laughing with a friend about breaking up with his girlfriend and his caption said how thesedays he doesn't care at all. I don't know if it was recent but if it is it's messed up because the time stamp on the messages was 7:45, 15 minutes after his job ends, and he said he'd last broken up with his girlfriend months ago so i wonder was he talking about me.