Second guessing my position after 7 mo of dating

I've (F,38) been dating someone (M,39) for 7 mo (3-4 times a week) and it's been a wonderful relationship (for me). We are both in late 30s with a history of ~2 long term relationships each. I valued and appreciated him and believe was able to convey that well. He was very kind, thoughtful and seemed genuinely happy with me as well.

What started to bother me is lack of conversation about the intent of the relationships and some of the common considerations -e.g. telling parents about it (his parents live overseas but he was very close to them, yet i understood that they didn't know of me).

As I recognized this increasing concern, i mentioned that i, myself am seeking someone with long-term potential and i need to know if we have alignment in terms of what we're seeking / and that it's important for me to know that someone i am dating sees a future with me and is stable / clear with that they generally want out of life.

He mentioned that he is enjoying the relationships and it's not a casual thing, but also doesn't have clarity re what they want in the future and "what that looks like." We're both under some external stressors (work for me, some visa uncertaintly for him) which might be contributing to some anxiety over the future, at least on my part.

I said i need to let this go, but i am finding myself in incredible pain and beginning to doubt my decision. From the facts above, does it seem like a reasonable stance to take? Not sure if it matters, but he is east asian and I am eastern european so there might be some cultural context to consider.

Submitted September 07, 2020 at 11:30PM

I've (F,38) been dating someone (M,39) for 7 mo (3-4 times a week) and it's been a wonderful relationship (for me). We are both in late 30s with a history of ~2 long term relationships each. I valued and appreciated him and believe was able to convey that well. He was very kind, thoughtful and seemed genuinely happy with me as well.What started to bother me is lack of conversation about the intent of the relationships and some of the common considerations -e.g. telling parents about it (his parents live overseas but he was very close to them, yet i understood that they didn't know of me).As I recognized this increasing concern, i mentioned that i, myself am seeking someone with long-term potential and i need to know if we have alignment in terms of what we're seeking / and that it's important for me to know that someone i am dating sees a future with me and is stable / clear with that they generally want out of life.He mentioned that he is enjoying the relationships and it's not a casual thing, but also doesn't have clarity re what they want in the future and "what that looks like." We're both under some external stressors (work for me, some visa uncertaintly for him) which might be contributing to some anxiety over the future, at least on my part.I said i need to let this go, but i am finding myself in incredible pain and beginning to doubt my decision. From the facts above, does it seem like a reasonable stance to take? Not sure if it matters, but he is east asian and I am eastern european so there might be some cultural context to consider.