I (30f) wanna know if it's unsafe to let my guard down

So I've started hanging out with the friend of a friend, and - I think - he's into me at least sexually (he constantly talks to me about sex and has mentioned how important sex is to him multiple times and is always eager to come over and seeks out physical contact). BUT I always keep my guard up around him and keep my distance, because once I start having a regular physical relationship with someone, I start to get emotionally attached as well. And that wouldn't be a good idea probably, because he has a very strange relationship with his roommate.

His (28m) roommate (22f) "basically lives on my bed", they have sex sometimes but he considers them "sexually incompatible" and complains about "having a terrible sex life", yet she constantly "requires" his attention and "love" (his words), even though they're "not in a relationship" and she apparently has had sex with somebody else recently. Like when he was over here, he sometimes checked his phone and explained that she was "craving attention" and that he was gonna braid her hair later to make her feel better. It just weirds me out. Their relationship, whatever it is, sounds codependent to me and I can't quite figure it out. I'm not quite sure what he wants from her - I suppose he must care about her or he wouldn't be doing all these things for her. It seems very one-sided though.

Is he looking for someone on the side to just have sex with? We have been connecting over all kinds of stuff and have had some really good conversations and usually have a really nice time together even without any physical contact whatsoever (except a brief hug hello and goodbye). So if it wasn't for the roommate thing, I'd probably consider him as a potential dating candidate. But in this scenario, I guess I'd only be the sex substitute? I can't really read the situation and would love an outside perspective.



Submitted September 07, 2020 at 11:57PM

So I've started hanging out with the friend of a friend, and - I think - he's into me at least sexually (he constantly talks to me about sex and has mentioned how important sex is to him multiple times and is always eager to come over and seeks out physical contact). BUT I always keep my guard up around him and keep my distance, because once I start having a regular physical relationship with someone, I start to get emotionally attached as well. And that wouldn't be a good idea probably, because he has a very strange relationship with his roommate.His (28m) roommate (22f) "basically lives on my bed", they have sex sometimes but he considers them "sexually incompatible" and complains about "having a terrible sex life", yet she constantly "requires" his attention and "love" (his words), even though they're "not in a relationship" and she apparently has had sex with somebody else recently. Like when he was over here, he sometimes checked his phone and explained that she was "craving attention" and that he was gonna braid her hair later to make her feel better. It just weirds me out. Their relationship, whatever it is, sounds codependent to me and I can't quite figure it out. I'm not quite sure what he wants from her - I suppose he must care about her or he wouldn't be doing all these things for her. It seems very one-sided though.Is he looking for someone on the side to just have sex with? We have been connecting over all kinds of stuff and have had some really good conversations and usually have a really nice time together even without any physical contact whatsoever (except a brief hug hello and goodbye). So if it wasn't for the roommate thing, I'd probably consider him as a potential dating candidate. But in this scenario, I guess I'd only be the sex substitute? I can't really read the situation and would love an outside perspective.
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