Redditors witnessing or involved in healthy marriages/LTRs: How do Curiosity, Playfulness and Disclosure play a role? Are ALL of these essential to making it work?

Many people are in LTRs and marriages and it is obviously objectively and subjectively difficult to discern what is "healthy". Gottman and Gottman have done a lot of work to analyze and measure communication and other factors that lead to feelings of satisfaction in a marriage. That said, I'm really interested in how people look at the health of their relationships in the following specific domains:

Curiosity: The inherent interest in self and partner. A desire to understand motivations, feelings, perspectives, dreams and conflicts in yourself and your partner.

Disclosure: The ability to identify feelings, internal conflicts, uncomfortable emotions/thoughts and SHARE these with partner. Obviously related to curiosity but it's really about a desire/comfort to "lean in" and be vulnerable.

Playfulness: Ability to joke/fool around, be spontaneous, creative, silly and imaginative. Playfulness can take many forms, but involves some elements of letting one's guard down and some risk, as all play does (rejection/negative judgment, etc.)

How do you understand these concepts? Can a relationship be emotionally satisfying without these? What resonates for you? Hoping for some stories too!

Discuss....

Submitted June 21, 2020 at 11:36PM

Many people are in LTRs and marriages and it is obviously objectively and subjectively difficult to discern what is "healthy". Gottman and Gottman have done a lot of work to analyze and measure communication and other factors that lead to feelings of satisfaction in a marriage. That said, I'm really interested in how people look at the health of their relationships in the following specific domains:Curiosity: The inherent interest in self and partner. A desire to understand motivations, feelings, perspectives, dreams and conflicts in yourself and your partner.Disclosure: The ability to identify feelings, internal conflicts, uncomfortable emotions/thoughts and SHARE these with partner. Obviously related to curiosity but it's really about a desire/comfort to "lean in" and be vulnerable.Playfulness: Ability to joke/fool around, be spontaneous, creative, silly and imaginative. Playfulness can take many forms, but involves some elements of letting one's guard down and some risk, as all play does (rejection/negative judgment, etc.)How do you understand these concepts? Can a relationship be emotionally satisfying without these? What resonates for you? Hoping for some stories too!Discuss....