/u/raevynfyre on Therapist in need of information

I identify as sex-indifferent, hetero-romantic, asexual. I was 36 before I figured it out. I sought out a therapist from an online LGBT friendly service. The person was nice but didn't have any experience with asexuality. I was trying to find out what I could do to save my marriage because my husband thought something was wrong with me or that I was faking/lying. When I tried talking to her about how to help my husband understand that I love him, but just don't feel sexual attraction, her suggestion was to just have sex more with him. I'd like you and other therapists to know that it's not as simple as just having more sex. Even though I am open to the possibility of sex, it is a chore. It is something I do because the person I love enjoys it. But it is a very intimate act that if I don't feel in the mood, raises issues of true consent. By saying to just have sex, you are saying that I should just give up my body for the use of someone else regardless of my willingness. Take away point: be careful of word choice and really listen to what the person is telling you about their experience.





May 18, 2020 at 12:00AM
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