How do people sext with people they haven't had sex with already?

It's always blown my (M28) mind that people will sext before actually doing the deed in person. It's always strictly been something I'll do only if I've been with someone intimately already, since I then know that 1. The gal is actually into me in that way, 2. I have some idea of what turns her on, and what doesn't, and 3. just general comfort. But to flirt or exchange nudes over text before even meeting in some cases, is just so far from my reality I can't believe it actually even happens. Some people have completely online, flirtatious relationships and it's bizarre to me how it comes about. I always thought "sliding into DMs" was a joke about women getting annoyed by guys constantly badgering them on social media, but I will frequently hear that's how some people will meet. It's always been my assumption that most women consider it completely inappropriate and crass to bring up sexual topics before meeting up.

And then just to be sure, I'm using terms like bizarre in the awe-inducing sense. I feel like some people are able to be much more natural over text/social media, whereas for me it's fairly uncomfortable. I have no issues being sexual or indicating interest in person.

I'd love to hear what Reddit's experiences are in this realm of sexuality and how these things have worked out in the past. What apps were used? Were there pictures involved or only text? Did you know from the start you were sexually interested in the other person, or was the conversation just so electric, that it caused your interest to pique? Who turned the conversation sexual first? Did you eventually meet up and did things change after that?



Submitted May 17, 2020 at 12:18AM

It's always blown my (M28) mind that people will sext before actually doing the deed in person. It's always strictly been something I'll do only if I've been with someone intimately already, since I then know that 1. The gal is actually into me in that way, 2. I have some idea of what turns her on, and what doesn't, and 3. just general comfort. But to flirt or exchange nudes over text before even meeting in some cases, is just so far from my reality I can't believe it actually even happens. Some people have completely online, flirtatious relationships and it's bizarre to me how it comes about. I always thought "sliding into DMs" was a joke about women getting annoyed by guys constantly badgering them on social media, but I will frequently hear that's how some people will meet. It's always been my assumption that most women consider it completely inappropriate and crass to bring up sexual topics before meeting up.And then just to be sure, I'm using terms like bizarre in the awe-inducing sense. I feel like some people are able to be much more natural over text/social media, whereas for me it's fairly uncomfortable. I have no issues being sexual or indicating interest in person.I'd love to hear what Reddit's experiences are in this realm of sexuality and how these things have worked out in the past. What apps were used? Were there pictures involved or only text? Did you know from the start you were sexually interested in the other person, or was the conversation just so electric, that it caused your interest to pique? Who turned the conversation sexual first? Did you eventually meet up and did things change after that?
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