My boyfriend [25M] of 1.4 years became more and more distant over the months and told me [20F] yesterday that he decided to end things. Did he find someone else or just got disinterested in me? Relationship seemed great. Need advice. Sorry if long.

Hi guys, my boyfriend (25M) and I (20F) have been together for about year and a half and it was amazing the first year of dating. We had a lot of similar hobbies and interests and tastes in music/people. We also met at our work last year (seasonal winter job) because it is connected to a shared hobby. We were super into each other, always texting or hanging out and it seemed to be perfect, but a few months ago the affection has been dying down. Now a few things to state: * he is a nice person to me but also to everyone around him * I am a super social person, while he is an introvert that prefers to stay home (play video games with friends) and struggles with social anxiety. * I’m on the other hand am not into gaming as much and prefer to go out or do artistic activities. * I am also not old enough to go to bars with him and his friends yet, and I would express my disappointment openly about that. * Whenever there was a hiccup, I prefer to talk things out (I generally talk a lot) but he doesn’t say everything on his mind so it’s hard to read what he means/feels sometimes. * At the start of the relationship he would write me paragraphs with affection and get me all kinds of gifts and we would go on a lot of dates but after a year these came down to almost 0. He would always tell me how happy I made him compared to the few last years of his life and seemed to actually have meant it. * We go to different universities and live about 1.5 hrs from each other therefore, which I admit ads a strain * As shy and anxious as he is, in the beginning of our relationship he told me he has cheated before with a friend on his girlfriend of 3 years (they lived together but it wasn’t working out and he was miserable and couldn’t physically move her out till the end of school year) and that he only did it because it got so bad he didn’t even want to be home anymore.

Now with these things stated, we do get along very well but ever since New Years, we have started to see each other less, be busy overall, and I had long lasting health problems. With the current outbreak we also did not quartine together bc of his job, which led to our texting to become minimal and us seeing each other nonexistent. He was even more quiet the next week and when I would ask what’s wrong, he would say he doesn’t feel like talking to anyone (not the first time). I still said it’s okay and I’ll be here if you need to. Yesterday he called me to break things up. Said we were too incompatible, there’s too much compromising for both of us involved, so it would be better to end things now instead of pretending further. He did say all those feelings were real but that he has already decided for himself. Right after, he deleted all our posts together from his IG. Even all my friends were surprised he suddenly ended things because we were “perfect” together and they would compare their relationships to ours. My question is do you think he got interested in someone else suddenly or we really are too different? Maybe he found some girl on discord that loooves League of Legends as much as he does. I love him a lot and it seems weird not texting him all the time now, but I do see how there was less affection and more compromising as time went on which was making me feel sad and clingy. I don’t think I was a bad girlfriend and he was a great boyfriend so I wonder what happened. He understood me very well and I could tell him anything without judgement. He also used to put up with a lot of my shit so it’s hard to imagine I can find someone who can treat me the same or better again. Don’t quite know how to fill the loneliness after this.

tl;dr my usually very loving boyfriend became more and more distant over the months and told me he decided to end things yesterday. Did he find someone else or just got disinterested in me.

Submitted April 05, 2020 at 12:13AM

Hi guys, my boyfriend (25M) and I (20F) have been together for about year and a half and it was amazing the first year of dating. We had a lot of similar hobbies and interests and tastes in music/people. We also met at our work last year (seasonal winter job) because it is connected to a shared hobby. We were super into each other, always texting or hanging out and it seemed to be perfect, but a few months ago the affection has been dying down. Now a few things to state: * he is a nice person to me but also to everyone around him * I am a super social person, while he is an introvert that prefers to stay home (play video games with friends) and struggles with social anxiety. * I’m on the other hand am not into gaming as much and prefer to go out or do artistic activities. * I am also not old enough to go to bars with him and his friends yet, and I would express my disappointment openly about that. * Whenever there was a hiccup, I prefer to talk things out (I generally talk a lot) but he doesn’t say everything on his mind so it’s hard to read what he means/feels sometimes. * At the start of the relationship he would write me paragraphs with affection and get me all kinds of gifts and we would go on a lot of dates but after a year these came down to almost 0. He would always tell me how happy I made him compared to the few last years of his life and seemed to actually have meant it. * We go to different universities and live about 1.5 hrs from each other therefore, which I admit ads a strain * As shy and anxious as he is, in the beginning of our relationship he told me he has cheated before with a friend on his girlfriend of 3 years (they lived together but it wasn’t working out and he was miserable and couldn’t physically move her out till the end of school year) and that he only did it because it got so bad he didn’t even want to be home anymore.Now with these things stated, we do get along very well but ever since New Years, we have started to see each other less, be busy overall, and I had long lasting health problems. With the current outbreak we also did not quartine together bc of his job, which led to our texting to become minimal and us seeing each other nonexistent. He was even more quiet the next week and when I would ask what’s wrong, he would say he doesn’t feel like talking to anyone (not the first time). I still said it’s okay and I’ll be here if you need to. Yesterday he called me to break things up. Said we were too incompatible, there’s too much compromising for both of us involved, so it would be better to end things now instead of pretending further. He did say all those feelings were real but that he has already decided for himself. Right after, he deleted all our posts together from his IG. Even all my friends were surprised he suddenly ended things because we were “perfect” together and they would compare their relationships to ours. My question is do you think he got interested in someone else suddenly or we really are too different? Maybe he found some girl on discord that loooves League of Legends as much as he does. I love him a lot and it seems weird not texting him all the time now, but I do see how there was less affection and more compromising as time went on which was making me feel sad and clingy. I don’t think I was a bad girlfriend and he was a great boyfriend so I wonder what happened. He understood me very well and I could tell him anything without judgement. He also used to put up with a lot of my shit so it’s hard to imagine I can find someone who can treat me the same or better again. Don’t quite know how to fill the loneliness after this.tl;dr my usually very loving boyfriend became more and more distant over the months and told me he decided to end things yesterday. Did he find someone else or just got disinterested in me.