Haven’t heard from the guy I’ve been seeing for 8 months in a week. Should I give up?

I’ve (23F) been talking to this guy (24M) since October of last year. We’ve been kind of stagnant all this time because of his previous relationship/living situation. Basically, when we started dating he revealed that he was living with his ex (26F) but she meant nothing to him and it’s just a living arrangement. Later down the road it started to become more evident that this was not the case.

He wanted to break up with her because he said she’s too “aggressive” and he wasn’t happy but she didn’t want the relationship to end. She started stalking my social media and somehow I became involved in this love triangle where I’m having to fight for his time and affection because somehow his ex is making me seem like the bad person and making him feel guilty for talking to me. So he’s always hot and cold with me because he feels bad for “hurting someone he cared about”, which I can understand so I try to be patient and just do my own thing.

Now I know this may sound like a dumb situation on my end but we have a really strong connection. He is really convincing and knows how to talk his way out of all my opposition. He says that things between them are over and he wants a future with me but he needs to end this living situation first so he needs time. I agree with that, give him time, and now they’re moved out.

Due to the pandemic he’s in another state with his brother until he can find an apartment. He bought me a plane ticket to spend a couple days together and we had a great time. We both agreed that it was a progressive step for us. But then he became distant and I asked him to call me. When he called me he told me that he loves hanging out with me and thinks we have a strong connection but he’s still not fully over his ex. He said he’s always thinking about me but feels bad not being fully present. Like usual I agree to give him space and whatever but this time I was a little fed up.

He didn’t contact me for a few days and when he did it was just a request to play an iMessage game. I ignored it then texted him the next day and he never replied. We haven’t spoken in a week and I don’t know what to do. I really don’t want to text him because I’m tired of chasing him but I feel like I need to know what’s going on. I just want some closure or reassurance, something so I’m not just wondering. I just want the truth. He looked at my LinkedIn page the other day I guess to let me know he’s thinking about me but I need more than that...

I just feel like after 8 months of sticking with him through all this I at least deserve a proper ending. Should I reach out to him or just try to move on?



Submitted April 30, 2020 at 11:59PM

I’ve (23F) been talking to this guy (24M) since October of last year. We’ve been kind of stagnant all this time because of his previous relationship/living situation. Basically, when we started dating he revealed that he was living with his ex (26F) but she meant nothing to him and it’s just a living arrangement. Later down the road it started to become more evident that this was not the case.He wanted to break up with her because he said she’s too “aggressive” and he wasn’t happy but she didn’t want the relationship to end. She started stalking my social media and somehow I became involved in this love triangle where I’m having to fight for his time and affection because somehow his ex is making me seem like the bad person and making him feel guilty for talking to me. So he’s always hot and cold with me because he feels bad for “hurting someone he cared about”, which I can understand so I try to be patient and just do my own thing.Now I know this may sound like a dumb situation on my end but we have a really strong connection. He is really convincing and knows how to talk his way out of all my opposition. He says that things between them are over and he wants a future with me but he needs to end this living situation first so he needs time. I agree with that, give him time, and now they’re moved out.Due to the pandemic he’s in another state with his brother until he can find an apartment. He bought me a plane ticket to spend a couple days together and we had a great time. We both agreed that it was a progressive step for us. But then he became distant and I asked him to call me. When he called me he told me that he loves hanging out with me and thinks we have a strong connection but he’s still not fully over his ex. He said he’s always thinking about me but feels bad not being fully present. Like usual I agree to give him space and whatever but this time I was a little fed up.He didn’t contact me for a few days and when he did it was just a request to play an iMessage game. I ignored it then texted him the next day and he never replied. We haven’t spoken in a week and I don’t know what to do. I really don’t want to text him because I’m tired of chasing him but I feel like I need to know what’s going on. I just want some closure or reassurance, something so I’m not just wondering. I just want the truth. He looked at my LinkedIn page the other day I guess to let me know he’s thinking about me but I need more than that...I just feel like after 8 months of sticking with him through all this I at least deserve a proper ending. Should I reach out to him or just try to move on?
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