/u/SuperdudeFourFiveSix on Need extra ace perspectives for school project
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I'm a cis male, from Ohio, 17 but very nearly 18.
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Aromantic Asexual
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I realized I was asexual about two and a half years ago, and the thing that made me realize was someone saying that sexual desire isn't, like, a thing that only happens in movies. I realized I was aromantic about a month later.
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I assumed I was straight right up until I saw how straight people acted around women in high school and then I stopped assuming that. Kinda just thought I was prudish or some shit.
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Normally I describe it as not having any desire at all to have sex or be in a relationship. I know that that's technically not completely accurate but it is accurate to how I personally experience asexuality.
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I'm aroace and sex repulsed so I'm not looking to be in a relationship at all. I'm male which is a bit more uncommon, plus being both aromantic and asexual is relatively uncommon.
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Oh my god so many things. One time someone thought I had erectile dysfunction, and thought it appropriate to tell me to "Just take a viagra". A lot of people think I have low testosterone even though I don't. A lot of people think I'm lying or a sociopath or robotic or whatever other stupid thing they can come up with. Tons of people think I "just haven't found the right person yet." I got told that I was clearly abused as a kid (I wasn't). Or that it was just an effect of antidepressants (I do not take antidepressants, nor do I take medication that has low sexual desire as a side effect). This is just the stuff people have told me to my face.
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Most people would consider me to be LGBTQ+ so I do also. We don't really have a community because we're in a shitty conservative part of Ohio but there's a group of a few LGBTQ+ people that I hang out with sometimes. They're nice.
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I liked Todd from Bojack Horseman, who is, from what I can tell, one of about four asexual characters in television. Todd's experience is pretty good when it comes to representing asexuals who aren't aromantic, but I can't name any aroaces in fiction. I think Maya from Borderlands 2 might be because of some filler dialogue but honestly I'm not sure if that's canon or not.
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Look, if someone tells you they're asexual, please just go "Oh, cool!" or something. Don't give them a million questions and absolutely don't accuse them of lying, or of having been abused, or on antidepressants, or any other stupid thing you think might explain it. Just, like, be kind.
December 05, 2019 at 12:07AM
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