Childless marriage advice please

Two years ago, I found out that my wife is unable to have children because of a disease she had when she was young. This is my first marriage, so I haven't really thought about kids before and I didn't want my wife to feel bad, so I told her I was ok with that. But this year, I have started to feel depressed about it. We're in our mid 30's so the majority of my friends/coworkers have kids and invite us to their baby showers, kids parties, etc and I'm feeling like I'm missing out on something special.

My wife and I also talked about adoption, which I am for, but she isn't. She doesn't know how she would feel taking care of a child that isn't hers. I feel she rather be childless.

Seeing my friends and their kids is nice, but it's giving me regret seeing them together and growing. Also, family/friends constantly asking us when will we be having kids is getting more and more frustrating. I suppose if I had more single friends, I probably won't feel as depressed about it. I'm not religious so my friends are pretty much my community.

I'm making myself depressed thinking about the purpose of my life. Am I just working to pay off a car, home and go on vacations once and awhile? I'm sliding into bad habits. Working out less and drinking/sleeping more. On my days off work, I struggle to find a reason to get out of bed sometimes. Anyone else been in this situation before? What did you do? Do you regret your choices or are happy that you made them?

Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks!



Submitted November 19, 2019 at 11:29PM

Two years ago, I found out that my wife is unable to have children because of a disease she had when she was young. This is my first marriage, so I haven't really thought about kids before and I didn't want my wife to feel bad, so I told her I was ok with that. But this year, I have started to feel depressed about it. We're in our mid 30's so the majority of my friends/coworkers have kids and invite us to their baby showers, kids parties, etc and I'm feeling like I'm missing out on something special.My wife and I also talked about adoption, which I am for, but she isn't. She doesn't know how she would feel taking care of a child that isn't hers. I feel she rather be childless.Seeing my friends and their kids is nice, but it's giving me regret seeing them together and growing. Also, family/friends constantly asking us when will we be having kids is getting more and more frustrating. I suppose if I had more single friends, I probably won't feel as depressed about it. I'm not religious so my friends are pretty much my community.I'm making myself depressed thinking about the purpose of my life. Am I just working to pay off a car, home and go on vacations once and awhile? I'm sliding into bad habits. Working out less and drinking/sleeping more. On my days off work, I struggle to find a reason to get out of bed sometimes. Anyone else been in this situation before? What did you do? Do you regret your choices or are happy that you made them?Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks!
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