Discombobulated and tired

I just really need to get this off my chest. I've never been in a relationship before, had a few crushes, but never really talked to any girls in high school so I know there's a bunch of mistakes a first timer would make down below in the plethora of text.

On the first week of college, a girl introduced herself to me, and we started walking together to her dorm building after class for a few weeks, just talking about stuff. She eventually gave me her phone number. She eventually started walking to the library with me, where we'd study together, 60% we studied, and 40% we just talked. All in between this, we'd be brushing against each other's arms, briefly touching each other, and even letting our arms just sit next to each other for a while without moving.

At one point, she asked me what stuff there is to do around the city since she wasn't from here. She eventually told me she asked me that question because we could hang out one weekend if I wanted to. Later on, we she told me I could play racquetball with her if I wanted to, twice in one week. We don't text that much, almost once a day, sometimes about school work, sometimes about random stuff, but nothing like a full fledged conversation. Even last weekend we met over the weekend for the first time to study, we brought some food and worked together. When we were talking about restaurants, I mentioned how there was a good one nearby, and she said she'd love to go with me. We decided that 3 weeks from now would be best since the next 2 weekends would be busy for us.

Here's where I'm getting confused on. Remember when she said we could hang out one weekend doing some activity around campus? I asked her if the nearest weekend would work and she said she was visiting her parents and we can discuss about that later next week. Ok, so I planned to ask her on the following Wed. if she wanted to hang out, and before I could mention that she mentioned in our daily conversation that she was going out with some friends over the weekend. Ok, and it turns out she didn't go with her friends since she was tried, and that makes sense.

On the following Sun. we studied and I agreed to help her with her personal project like I said above. However, she told me last Friday her guy friend wanted to practice racquetball with her since he had a competition on Sat. We didn't study together on Friday because she went to practice with him. Oddly, she mentioned how he started giving her rides back to her dorm since her bike was stolen, and how they spent a few hours talking in his car (she has a hard time saying no). She mentioned how she's getting a ride back to her dorm building since her bike was stolen, but now I know who it is. Today, when we were studying we were in the quiet part of the library since it was the only available space, she started texting someone, and listened to music, completely different habit since she didn't text anyone nor listened to music before. I don't want to say I peeked, but in my peripheral vision I saw the name of who she was texting and it was that same guy friend. And it appears that they've been texting a lot, I know for a fact a lot more than she's texting me.

Earlier today I asked if her offer to play racquetball was still up, and she said yeah, but she's busy the entire week, balancing homework and playing racquetball with her friends/club everyday, even though the club meets three times a week. My gut says she's been playing with this guy friend. She said maybe the weekend could work, where we could study and take a break and play racquetball, she'll let me know she said. My gut says to not expect anything from this now. I'll forget that I asked now, and if she brings it up (30% probability), then good? But if she doesn't (70% probability), then that means she just isn't interested since it seems she can make the time for other people.

I'm just frustrated that it seems like this girl likes me, but whenever we try to hang out, she's busy with homework (Who isn't at this point?) but whenever she isn't busy, she finds time to hangout with her friends. She's mentioned her guy friend several times for some reason, and today she just changed her studying habits. I feel like this is quantum mechanics; focus on one aspect of the situation, and the other part of the situation completely changes, making yourself question what's really happening here. Hell, I understand the Navier Stokes equations better than this situation and that is annoying me.

It's kinda tiring to me and it feels like she's using me (Even though her personality strongly suggests otherwise) or isn't as interested into me, but again it feels like she suggesting otherwise. I still want to be friends whatever happens, but a part of me wants to directly ask if she just sees us a friends. I tried doing that a few times but I chickened out since being around her makes me forget about this for some reason. I guess I can try to make excuses like I have a club meeting after class from now on so I can't be with her like usual, but that would be too obvious but I'm not sure if she'll care at this point. I have no idea what to do and I know this is a toxic cycle. I just want to avoid burning bridges.

Some advice would be nice, but I primarily needed to throw this out. Thank you.

Submitted October 28, 2019 at 11:16PM

I just really need to get this off my chest. I've never been in a relationship before, had a few crushes, but never really talked to any girls in high school so I know there's a bunch of mistakes a first timer would make down below in the plethora of text.On the first week of college, a girl introduced herself to me, and we started walking together to her dorm building after class for a few weeks, just talking about stuff. She eventually gave me her phone number. She eventually started walking to the library with me, where we'd study together, 60% we studied, and 40% we just talked. All in between this, we'd be brushing against each other's arms, briefly touching each other, and even letting our arms just sit next to each other for a while without moving.At one point, she asked me what stuff there is to do around the city since she wasn't from here. She eventually told me she asked me that question because we could hang out one weekend if I wanted to. Later on, we she told me I could play racquetball with her if I wanted to, twice in one week. We don't text that much, almost once a day, sometimes about school work, sometimes about random stuff, but nothing like a full fledged conversation. Even last weekend we met over the weekend for the first time to study, we brought some food and worked together. When we were talking about restaurants, I mentioned how there was a good one nearby, and she said she'd love to go with me. We decided that 3 weeks from now would be best since the next 2 weekends would be busy for us.Here's where I'm getting confused on. Remember when she said we could hang out one weekend doing some activity around campus? I asked her if the nearest weekend would work and she said she was visiting her parents and we can discuss about that later next week. Ok, so I planned to ask her on the following Wed. if she wanted to hang out, and before I could mention that she mentioned in our daily conversation that she was going out with some friends over the weekend. Ok, and it turns out she didn't go with her friends since she was tried, and that makes sense.On the following Sun. we studied and I agreed to help her with her personal project like I said above. However, she told me last Friday her guy friend wanted to practice racquetball with her since he had a competition on Sat. We didn't study together on Friday because she went to practice with him. Oddly, she mentioned how he started giving her rides back to her dorm since her bike was stolen, and how they spent a few hours talking in his car (she has a hard time saying no). She mentioned how she's getting a ride back to her dorm building since her bike was stolen, but now I know who it is. Today, when we were studying we were in the quiet part of the library since it was the only available space, she started texting someone, and listened to music, completely different habit since she didn't text anyone nor listened to music before. I don't want to say I peeked, but in my peripheral vision I saw the name of who she was texting and it was that same guy friend. And it appears that they've been texting a lot, I know for a fact a lot more than she's texting me.Earlier today I asked if her offer to play racquetball was still up, and she said yeah, but she's busy the entire week, balancing homework and playing racquetball with her friends/club everyday, even though the club meets three times a week. My gut says she's been playing with this guy friend. She said maybe the weekend could work, where we could study and take a break and play racquetball, she'll let me know she said. My gut says to not expect anything from this now. I'll forget that I asked now, and if she brings it up (30% probability), then good? But if she doesn't (70% probability), then that means she just isn't interested since it seems she can make the time for other people.I'm just frustrated that it seems like this girl likes me, but whenever we try to hang out, she's busy with homework (Who isn't at this point?) but whenever she isn't busy, she finds time to hangout with her friends. She's mentioned her guy friend several times for some reason, and today she just changed her studying habits. I feel like this is quantum mechanics; focus on one aspect of the situation, and the other part of the situation completely changes, making yourself question what's really happening here. Hell, I understand the Navier Stokes equations better than this situation and that is annoying me.It's kinda tiring to me and it feels like she's using me (Even though her personality strongly suggests otherwise) or isn't as interested into me, but again it feels like she suggesting otherwise. I still want to be friends whatever happens, but a part of me wants to directly ask if she just sees us a friends. I tried doing that a few times but I chickened out since being around her makes me forget about this for some reason. I guess I can try to make excuses like I have a club meeting after class from now on so I can't be with her like usual, but that would be too obvious but I'm not sure if she'll care at this point. I have no idea what to do and I know this is a toxic cycle. I just want to avoid burning bridges.Some advice would be nice, but I primarily needed to throw this out. Thank you.