Getting over a breakup?

Just lost my first girlfriend after two and a half years two days ago, it was my fault. I blame my negativity, ever since I gained weight my whole outlook on the world turned sour, I became unappreciative, argumentative, and close minded. I started treating people poorly not all the time but it was always felt like I was just in conversations just to disagree or argue with everything. Only as of two weeks ago I noticed my behaviour and started to change because after losing 40 pounds and 2/3 to my goal weight I still noticed that despite my health improving, my day still felt shitty despite everything I was blessed with. I still treated my girlfriend with respect but we got in alot more fights last month then any other month in our relationship, but the number of fights began lessening (probably I tried smarting up) and I assumed we were just going through a rough patch (led by me) and next month was going to be fine, but instead she considered it as us being incompatible so she broke up with me. She’s always been the type to want someone to fight for her but this time I let her go because she almost started crying when she was bringing up all our arguments, which tore me up inside, she was also very insistent that we were not compatible yet me not saying that we were. When she was telling me that she wanted to break up with me I couldn’t even look in the same direction as her, it felt unreal. I don’t see a point in trying to get her back into something that only has a small possibility in being good for her. Truthfully I don’t know if I’ll ever be as happy and goal driven as I was two years ago, it just sucks because I was so driven to change my mindset for her so we can be happy again and now I’m trying to become more positive whilst fighting off tears because I can’t stop looking at pictures and videos that pop up in my memories on snapchat.

How do I get over this? Right now it seems literally impossible and it doesn’t help that she was a creative genius and I just have all these small books and stuff she made for me over our relationship. I get that being 19 I have a ton of time, but I also liked this girl since I was really young, and right now no exaggeration it feels like someones just pulling me down wherever I go. In a months time aswell I’m gonna be starting university and we go to the same school, I asked her if she wanted to be friends but she said she didnt want to be but shed still wave at me in the hall and all that, which is really hard to swallow considering where we were just two months ago. I posted this on another community but I got no replies, and it being 3 days since we broken up I actually told her yesterday I was having trouble sleeping so i unfollowed her on all my social media just to get her out of my head of course reiterating that I don’t hate her or anything like that. An iffy decision, but I felt better this morning.

In summary: gained weight, with that I became bitter and depressed, lost 2/3 towards my goal noticed how negative I was. Me and girlfriend fought alot this month but it was lessening, she still broke up with me and now I cant get over it, and also create motivation to still change because she was my main source.

Submitted August 10, 2019 at 11:44PM

Just lost my first girlfriend after two and a half years two days ago, it was my fault. I blame my negativity, ever since I gained weight my whole outlook on the world turned sour, I became unappreciative, argumentative, and close minded. I started treating people poorly not all the time but it was always felt like I was just in conversations just to disagree or argue with everything. Only as of two weeks ago I noticed my behaviour and started to change because after losing 40 pounds and 2/3 to my goal weight I still noticed that despite my health improving, my day still felt shitty despite everything I was blessed with. I still treated my girlfriend with respect but we got in alot more fights last month then any other month in our relationship, but the number of fights began lessening (probably I tried smarting up) and I assumed we were just going through a rough patch (led by me) and next month was going to be fine, but instead she considered it as us being incompatible so she broke up with me. She’s always been the type to want someone to fight for her but this time I let her go because she almost started crying when she was bringing up all our arguments, which tore me up inside, she was also very insistent that we were not compatible yet me not saying that we were. When she was telling me that she wanted to break up with me I couldn’t even look in the same direction as her, it felt unreal. I don’t see a point in trying to get her back into something that only has a small possibility in being good for her. Truthfully I don’t know if I’ll ever be as happy and goal driven as I was two years ago, it just sucks because I was so driven to change my mindset for her so we can be happy again and now I’m trying to become more positive whilst fighting off tears because I can’t stop looking at pictures and videos that pop up in my memories on snapchat.How do I get over this? Right now it seems literally impossible and it doesn’t help that she was a creative genius and I just have all these small books and stuff she made for me over our relationship. I get that being 19 I have a ton of time, but I also liked this girl since I was really young, and right now no exaggeration it feels like someones just pulling me down wherever I go. In a months time aswell I’m gonna be starting university and we go to the same school, I asked her if she wanted to be friends but she said she didnt want to be but shed still wave at me in the hall and all that, which is really hard to swallow considering where we were just two months ago. I posted this on another community but I got no replies, and it being 3 days since we broken up I actually told her yesterday I was having trouble sleeping so i unfollowed her on all my social media just to get her out of my head of course reiterating that I don’t hate her or anything like that. An iffy decision, but I felt better this morning.In summary: gained weight, with that I became bitter and depressed, lost 2/3 towards my goal noticed how negative I was. Me and girlfriend fought alot this month but it was lessening, she still broke up with me and now I cant get over it, and also create motivation to still change because she was my main source.