Can anyone help me figure out what i should do about this girl I really like?

I met this amazing girl about a month ago. We have been dating and spending time together every other day/ every third day or so since then. We have nearly opposite personalities on the surface but we are both pretty deep and enjoy philosophizing and have a lot to share and a whole lot in common. We are both 29, (I turn 29 in a few days) and we have genuinely enjoyed each other's company since meeting, from day 1. I have never met someone I've liked as much as her. We are both living in Utah right now, and dating here is pretty nuts. People tend to get married earlier than most states (in fact Utah has the youngest average marriage age in the nation) so finding someone special when you're both 29 and have floated through the highly competitive date-to-get-married system here in Utah is special. Now to the details.

Last night I went to her house and we had a great time laughing and talking on her couch. she eventually hesitantly brought up that she liked me enough that she wanted to be clear and straightforward and tell me that she met a guy 8 months ago who she hit it off with well. She has thought about him in the back of her mind ever since. Strangely they haven't been on any dates , because he has been dating his ex wife. He is definitely real, she said he is in our church ward we both attend every sunday. she said he is wanting to date her now and their feelings for each other have not gone away. She wanted to tell me this because we have been taking further steps like getting a little more physical and doing things an exclusively dating couple would do. She wants to date him but keep dating me too, she clearly likes me and I know it. After how close we have gotten I felt really shitty upon hearing all this. I am a closed off person and have a harder time opening up and trusting people, but when I do it's pretty permanent and lifelong, but with her it has been easy. I have started falling for her and am not sure about my next move.

She flew to nashville last night for a trip for the next 4 days. My thoughts are that we have spent so much time together and not had many breaks, and I have been pretty available whenever she has wanted to do anything which are probably strikes against me. I'm thinking this guy must be pretty amazing to be so liked by her when they haven't gone on dates, and I'm sure she has also built up in her mind how wonderful it would be being with him, and also the factor of him being taken has stoked her passion, all over the last half year and more. when i left her house that night, she was back to hugging me and in general just showing her affection for me. It obviously is possible to have feelings for two people.

I am going up north to northern utah about 4 hours away to hike mount timpanogos with some friends and a bunch of girls for my birthday on september 2. she doesn’t have social media of any kind so i cant really use the old post-a-selfie-with-a-hot-chick-while-hiking tactic. :) Anyways I'm not sure how to proceed. do I lay off and not talk to her for awhile? she told me to text her while she was on her trip etc. I don't know if being so quick to respond is a good idea. if she texts me to meet up, what should i do? should i ignore her for a day? or completely? or respond like i would normally? what if she doesn't text me back for a long time, say several weeks? should I reach out to her if its been too long and when should i? I’m clearly not the best at dating and lack polished skills. I do think i need to make myself less available though. I hope these questions aren't too bland or boring for you guys. Based on this information, what are your thoughts, and can you give any advice that would give me insight into what to do and how to proceed? Thank you.

Submitted August 29, 2019 at 11:37PM

I met this amazing girl about a month ago. We have been dating and spending time together every other day/ every third day or so since then. We have nearly opposite personalities on the surface but we are both pretty deep and enjoy philosophizing and have a lot to share and a whole lot in common. We are both 29, (I turn 29 in a few days) and we have genuinely enjoyed each other's company since meeting, from day 1. I have never met someone I've liked as much as her. We are both living in Utah right now, and dating here is pretty nuts. People tend to get married earlier than most states (in fact Utah has the youngest average marriage age in the nation) so finding someone special when you're both 29 and have floated through the highly competitive date-to-get-married system here in Utah is special. Now to the details.Last night I went to her house and we had a great time laughing and talking on her couch. she eventually hesitantly brought up that she liked me enough that she wanted to be clear and straightforward and tell me that she met a guy 8 months ago who she hit it off with well. She has thought about him in the back of her mind ever since. Strangely they haven't been on any dates , because he has been dating his ex wife. He is definitely real, she said he is in our church ward we both attend every sunday. she said he is wanting to date her now and their feelings for each other have not gone away. She wanted to tell me this because we have been taking further steps like getting a little more physical and doing things an exclusively dating couple would do. She wants to date him but keep dating me too, she clearly likes me and I know it. After how close we have gotten I felt really shitty upon hearing all this. I am a closed off person and have a harder time opening up and trusting people, but when I do it's pretty permanent and lifelong, but with her it has been easy. I have started falling for her and am not sure about my next move.She flew to nashville last night for a trip for the next 4 days. My thoughts are that we have spent so much time together and not had many breaks, and I have been pretty available whenever she has wanted to do anything which are probably strikes against me. I'm thinking this guy must be pretty amazing to be so liked by her when they haven't gone on dates, and I'm sure she has also built up in her mind how wonderful it would be being with him, and also the factor of him being taken has stoked her passion, all over the last half year and more. when i left her house that night, she was back to hugging me and in general just showing her affection for me. It obviously is possible to have feelings for two people.I am going up north to northern utah about 4 hours away to hike mount timpanogos with some friends and a bunch of girls for my birthday on september 2. she doesn’t have social media of any kind so i cant really use the old post-a-selfie-with-a-hot-chick-while-hiking tactic. :) Anyways I'm not sure how to proceed. do I lay off and not talk to her for awhile? she told me to text her while she was on her trip etc. I don't know if being so quick to respond is a good idea. if she texts me to meet up, what should i do? should i ignore her for a day? or completely? or respond like i would normally? what if she doesn't text me back for a long time, say several weeks? should I reach out to her if its been too long and when should i? I’m clearly not the best at dating and lack polished skills. I do think i need to make myself less available though. I hope these questions aren't too bland or boring for you guys. Based on this information, what are your thoughts, and can you give any advice that would give me insight into what to do and how to proceed? Thank you.