I (24F) had a great date that ended badly with 25M - what do I do?

I had a very interesting first date recently with this guy, he is unlike anyone I've ever met - we spoke for hours until the bar closed, and he walked me back home (about four km). It seemed to be going really well, and I got the feeling that we'd kiss at the end of the night. But on the way back, he made a comment about sex (in the context of our conversation). I don't want to go into details, but it immediately reminded me of a traumatic sexual incident in my past. I clammed up immediately and tears rolled down my face, and he freaked out. He apologized several times without knowing what caused my reaction, and clearly felt awful. He then said he was sorry again, and he would leave me alone, and left as soon as we reached my door. The thing is, I really liked this guy, and we had really deep conversation that night. I think I want to pursue this further but I don't know how - it felt like it ended on such a weird note, and that he felt he was to blame. I don't actually think he said anything wrong. I reacted that way because of my personal issues (which I'd feel comfortable telling him, since we were speaking so openly). Not sure if this is relevant but I'm completely comfortable having sex and mostly talking about it, this particular thing is just a trigger for me. Should I get in touch with him and say something? Or should I just let it go? If I do speak to him - what do I even say?



Submitted July 10, 2019 at 11:34PM

I had a very interesting first date recently with this guy, he is unlike anyone I've ever met - we spoke for hours until the bar closed, and he walked me back home (about four km). It seemed to be going really well, and I got the feeling that we'd kiss at the end of the night. But on the way back, he made a comment about sex (in the context of our conversation). I don't want to go into details, but it immediately reminded me of a traumatic sexual incident in my past. I clammed up immediately and tears rolled down my face, and he freaked out. He apologized several times without knowing what caused my reaction, and clearly felt awful. He then said he was sorry again, and he would leave me alone, and left as soon as we reached my door. The thing is, I really liked this guy, and we had really deep conversation that night. I think I want to pursue this further but I don't know how - it felt like it ended on such a weird note, and that he felt he was to blame. I don't actually think he said anything wrong. I reacted that way because of my personal issues (which I'd feel comfortable telling him, since we were speaking so openly). Not sure if this is relevant but I'm completely comfortable having sex and mostly talking about it, this particular thing is just a trigger for me. Should I get in touch with him and say something? Or should I just let it go? If I do speak to him - what do I even say?
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