Stop giving your gf or wife so much attention (opposite gender also apply)

So let me start at the beginning, this is very long but bear with me I actually have something to say lol or If you don’t want to go through all that then scroll down to read the TL;DR

I’ve been with my current gf for three years and after a while we broke up because frankly I’ve been a huge asshole. I was manipulative, addicted to my phone, and didn’t value her enough as a gf even though she was absolutely perfect for me as she was incredibly nice, considerate, beautiful, funny, intelligent and was just my dream girl and she couldn’t take it anymore and we broke up.

It was around a month after our breakup that I took three tabs of acid and from then on my life changed. I realized I was being a complete douche nozzle our whole relationship. Ever since then I understand to take no for an answer, I don’t try to guilt trip people anymore, im not as manipulative and I use my phone so much less to the point where after a full day I still have more than half my battery left whereas in the past I’d have to recharge my phone more than twice a day.

Afterwards I tried my best to win her back and it was actually working, she admitted she found me attractive and saw my personality has improved a lot but told me that after the way I’ve been to her in the past she just lost that love for me she used to have.

I was absolutely destroyed but agreed to be friends with her and every week or so i would flirt with her, give attention to all her needs, be there for her, but she flat out refused to date me.

I respected her decision but decided I still loved her as a friend (most of my friends are her friends as well so we basically have to be together at times otherwise I’d be completely lonely).

So I began to treat her as just that, a friend, someone who I don’t see myself ever getting back with.

However, it was after this that I noticed a change. She looked at me more often, found excuses to touch me, and finally one day while we were out eating she told me she was willing to give it a chance.

I was so happy, even though I’ve settled for only being her friend I was more than glad to show her I’ve changed and after both of us agreeing we would try giving the relationship a trial run to see if I’ve actually changed I drove home happy as I’ve ever been in my life.

It was then I realized what I did that changed her view of me.

It was a lack of attention to her.

I realized that basically, women (and men) don’t want to be given attention all the time even if they happen to be attracted to that person. They think they do but they really don’t. There’s a sort of “hard to get” factor that makes people go crazy.

I kept this in mind and when I went to her house to sleep over I stopped doing the things I used to do while in a relationship with her and for once had her fighting for MY attention.

The changes were actually small in what I had to do but the results were drastic.

I stopped trying to cuddle with her all the time we were In bed together. I stopped talking to her about how much I loved her and instead talked to her like a good friend. I stopped hugging and kissing her constantly even though she says she loves when i do that and since then she can’t stop giving me attention. Granted I of course treated her like a gf, but let her know (without words or too directly of course) I wasn’t “crazy” for her.

In the past where she used to be on her phone most of the time when we were chilling she’d now try getting my attention by poking we with her feet, talking to me about interesting subjects and asking me questions about myself, and even becoming a lot more sexual than she used to.

Back then where I’d be the one to almost always initiate sex only to be told no because “I’m too tired” she would stay up past 12 am and try to get me to have sex with her constantly (and id reject her sometimes because frankly I was really tired, which only served to make her want me even more).

I’d wake up to her grinding on my dick or trying to fish it out of my pants.

Back when I used to get blowjobs MAYBE once a month I’d get them twice a week, most of the time even more than that.

so what I’m basically trying to say is, women (and men) want to feel like they have to fight to get their SO’s attention. Once they found out that their SO is absolutely completely enamored with them is when they lose interest, I know this because it happens to me too where if the girl I’m dating let’s me know with both words and actions that I’m completely hers (outside of sex) I lose interest very fast or at least the fire that was there when I began the relationship starts to fade very quickly.

TL;DR: Men and women, I’m not saying that this will work for everyone, but if you want a way to try to improve your relationship, make your SO want your attention. Make her/him crave it and willing to fight for it and don’t throw your attention at them like it’s worth pennies, this will improved the dynamic drastically if done well.

Submitted June 02, 2019 at 11:51PM

So let me start at the beginning, this is very long but bear with me I actually have something to say lol or If you don’t want to go through all that then scroll down to read the TL;DRI’ve been with my current gf for three years and after a while we broke up because frankly I’ve been a huge asshole. I was manipulative, addicted to my phone, and didn’t value her enough as a gf even though she was absolutely perfect for me as she was incredibly nice, considerate, beautiful, funny, intelligent and was just my dream girl and she couldn’t take it anymore and we broke up.It was around a month after our breakup that I took three tabs of acid and from then on my life changed. I realized I was being a complete douche nozzle our whole relationship. Ever since then I understand to take no for an answer, I don’t try to guilt trip people anymore, im not as manipulative and I use my phone so much less to the point where after a full day I still have more than half my battery left whereas in the past I’d have to recharge my phone more than twice a day.Afterwards I tried my best to win her back and it was actually working, she admitted she found me attractive and saw my personality has improved a lot but told me that after the way I’ve been to her in the past she just lost that love for me she used to have.I was absolutely destroyed but agreed to be friends with her and every week or so i would flirt with her, give attention to all her needs, be there for her, but she flat out refused to date me.I respected her decision but decided I still loved her as a friend (most of my friends are her friends as well so we basically have to be together at times otherwise I’d be completely lonely).So I began to treat her as just that, a friend, someone who I don’t see myself ever getting back with.However, it was after this that I noticed a change. She looked at me more often, found excuses to touch me, and finally one day while we were out eating she told me she was willing to give it a chance.I was so happy, even though I’ve settled for only being her friend I was more than glad to show her I’ve changed and after both of us agreeing we would try giving the relationship a trial run to see if I’ve actually changed I drove home happy as I’ve ever been in my life.It was then I realized what I did that changed her view of me.It was a lack of attention to her.I realized that basically, women (and men) don’t want to be given attention all the time even if they happen to be attracted to that person. They think they do but they really don’t. There’s a sort of “hard to get” factor that makes people go crazy.I kept this in mind and when I went to her house to sleep over I stopped doing the things I used to do while in a relationship with her and for once had her fighting for MY attention.The changes were actually small in what I had to do but the results were drastic.I stopped trying to cuddle with her all the time we were In bed together. I stopped talking to her about how much I loved her and instead talked to her like a good friend. I stopped hugging and kissing her constantly even though she says she loves when i do that and since then she can’t stop giving me attention. Granted I of course treated her like a gf, but let her know (without words or too directly of course) I wasn’t “crazy” for her.In the past where she used to be on her phone most of the time when we were chilling she’d now try getting my attention by poking we with her feet, talking to me about interesting subjects and asking me questions about myself, and even becoming a lot more sexual than she used to.Back then where I’d be the one to almost always initiate sex only to be told no because “I’m too tired” she would stay up past 12 am and try to get me to have sex with her constantly (and id reject her sometimes because frankly I was really tired, which only served to make her want me even more).I’d wake up to her grinding on my dick or trying to fish it out of my pants.Back when I used to get blowjobs MAYBE once a month I’d get them twice a week, most of the time even more than that.so what I’m basically trying to say is, women (and men) want to feel like they have to fight to get their SO’s attention. Once they found out that their SO is absolutely completely enamored with them is when they lose interest, I know this because it happens to me too where if the girl I’m dating let’s me know with both words and actions that I’m completely hers (outside of sex) I lose interest very fast or at least the fire that was there when I began the relationship starts to fade very quickly.TL;DR: Men and women, I’m not saying that this will work for everyone, but if you want a way to try to improve your relationship, make your SO want your attention. Make her/him crave it and willing to fight for it and don’t throw your attention at them like it’s worth pennies, this will improved the dynamic drastically if done well.