How to constructively discuss sexual boredom

My husband (26m) and I (27f) have been together for 7 years. I'm still his first partner, and he's a bit on the emotionally sensitive side. We have always had an off and on sexual relationship with our primary bond being more of the best friend variety.

He's the best sex I've ever had, and I generally really enjoy our time together in bed, but I've gotten a bit bored with it. For the past 3 years or so, I've tried bringing up new ideas, buying new toys, trying to do some roleplaying, but he generally seems to be more turned off by all my attempts.

For a while we attempted to try some light butt stuff, but it was not a turn on for me and while he was curious I found it kind of annoying/discouraging to see him so nervous or uncomfortable.

I've kind of given up at this point because I've run out of ideas. I would say we are sexually incompatible, but when we do have good sex, it's just so good.

To add complexity to the situation, he's a self-declared porn addict. I just don't understand why a porn addict would want such vanilla sex everytime....

Any advice or suggestions?



Submitted June 11, 2019 at 11:40PM

My husband (26m) and I (27f) have been together for 7 years. I'm still his first partner, and he's a bit on the emotionally sensitive side. We have always had an off and on sexual relationship with our primary bond being more of the best friend variety.He's the best sex I've ever had, and I generally really enjoy our time together in bed, but I've gotten a bit bored with it. For the past 3 years or so, I've tried bringing up new ideas, buying new toys, trying to do some roleplaying, but he generally seems to be more turned off by all my attempts.For a while we attempted to try some light butt stuff, but it was not a turn on for me and while he was curious I found it kind of annoying/discouraging to see him so nervous or uncomfortable.I've kind of given up at this point because I've run out of ideas. I would say we are sexually incompatible, but when we do have good sex, it's just so good.To add complexity to the situation, he's a self-declared porn addict. I just don't understand why a porn addict would want such vanilla sex everytime....Any advice or suggestions?
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