ShouldI be friends with someone I dated?

I’m (F25) met someone in a dating app (F24), we dated for a few weeks until she said she doesn’t want anything serious. She wants to either be friends or friends with benefits. I only want to keep good people in my life. Not sure if I should be friends with her since we’re not dating anymore. And she recently started responding to my texts late and it upset me. When I told her she said I’m overthinking and she doesn’t care. Maybe I was too confrontational? I don’t know, if I should check up on her or just move on?

Here are some of her red flags:

  • Lies about meaningless things. For example, pretending to have wanted to go to an art museum just because I like it. Or telling me she read my favorite book when she didn’t.
  • Parties every weekend and texts me while drunk. Doesn’t have other hobbies.
  • Came over to my apartment, didn’t eat the food I got her but drank a whole bottle of wine.
  • Cheats in her university classes.
  • She quit her job because she hates all of her coworkers and used being bipolar as an excuse. Will move back to her old job.
  • Spoke shit about her ex, and made it sound like she sacrificed a lot for her. Then she tried messaging her ex and got angry when she didn’t respond.
  • She is secretly taking student loans while letting her dad pay for her college.
  • Spilled wine on my bed then laughed about it.
  • She started college late while I’m already working and have my masters degree so we’re in diff stages in our lives.
  • Said she don’t care about my feelings and it hurt me without taking any accountability later. (At the end I begged her to say sorry). -Opened songs of my favorite artists and said they flopped.

The positive side of her is she is fun to hangout with and gives me rides. She’s also sweet and caring. I’m living abroad alone so I feel less lonely with her and I enjoy spending my time with her. I love hearing her talk about her day and I look forward to talking to her.



Submitted September 10, 2023 at 12:09AM

I’m (F25) met someone in a dating app (F24), we dated for a few weeks until she said she doesn’t want anything serious. She wants to either be friends or friends with benefits. I only want to keep good people in my life. Not sure if I should be friends with her since we’re not dating anymore. And she recently started responding to my texts late and it upset me. When I told her she said I’m overthinking and she doesn’t care. Maybe I was too confrontational? I don’t know, if I should check up on her or just move on? Here are some of her red flags:Lies about meaningless things. For example, pretending to have wanted to go to an art museum just because I like it. Or telling me she read my favorite book when she didn’t. Parties every weekend and texts me while drunk. Doesn’t have other hobbies.Came over to my apartment, didn’t eat the food I got her but drank a whole bottle of wine.Cheats in her university classes.She quit her job because she hates all of her coworkers and used being bipolar as an excuse. Will move back to her old job.Spoke shit about her ex, and made it sound like she sacrificed a lot for her. Then she tried messaging her ex and got angry when she didn’t respond. She is secretly taking student loans while letting her dad pay for her college.Spilled wine on my bed then laughed about it.She started college late while I’m already working and have my masters degree so we’re in diff stages in our lives. Said she don’t care about my feelings and it hurt me without taking any accountability later. (At the end I begged her to say sorry).-Opened songs of my favorite artists and said they flopped. The positive side of her is she is fun to hangout with and gives me rides. She’s also sweet and caring. I’m living abroad alone so I feel less lonely with her and I enjoy spending my time with her. I love hearing her talk about her day and I look forward to talking to her.
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