Unsure of how to flirt

I 28(m) am a generally good looking guy with a decent job, I'm in good shape, dress well and I'm good at playful teasing/ making people laugh. All my life however I've struggled with dating/flirting with girls. I never hooked up with anyone until college and never had a relationship until afterwards. My last relationship ended a year ago and I've been trying to navigate single life but again I'm having trouble. Some of my issues I know how to fix (not approaching enough women, confidence etc.) But one that I feel completely lost on is flirting.

Twice now I've been told by girls, both of whom slept with me, that prior to being psychical they were thrown off by how I don't flirt or how there wasn't much of any tension built up. I know it's always been a problem for me and I've done a ton of looking for help online even buying a $70 course once but after being told this again just the other day I realized that none of it helped.

The most recent time I was told this was from a girl I met on bumble and on our first date I made efforts to compliment her, initiate physical touch and playfully tease her but despite the date being successful and even getting the end of date kiss she still said she was getting a "friend" vibe from me.

At this point I'm not sure what to do and I don't know if redditors can help me but any advice is appreciated as I don't want to enter my 30s still struggling with this. I'm not even sure if I know what flirting is at this point.

TLDR: Struggle with flirting, tried to get better, thought i did but found I didn't and I desperately want help.



Submitted May 30, 2023 at 01:05AM

I 28(m) am a generally good looking guy with a decent job, I'm in good shape, dress well and I'm good at playful teasing/ making people laugh. All my life however I've struggled with dating/flirting with girls. I never hooked up with anyone until college and never had a relationship until afterwards. My last relationship ended a year ago and I've been trying to navigate single life but again I'm having trouble. Some of my issues I know how to fix (not approaching enough women, confidence etc.) But one that I feel completely lost on is flirting.Twice now I've been told by girls, both of whom slept with me, that prior to being psychical they were thrown off by how I don't flirt or how there wasn't much of any tension built up. I know it's always been a problem for me and I've done a ton of looking for help online even buying a $70 course once but after being told this again just the other day I realized that none of it helped.The most recent time I was told this was from a girl I met on bumble and on our first date I made efforts to compliment her, initiate physical touch and playfully tease her but despite the date being successful and even getting the end of date kiss she still said she was getting a "friend" vibe from me.At this point I'm not sure what to do and I don't know if redditors can help me but any advice is appreciated as I don't want to enter my 30s still struggling with this. I'm not even sure if I know what flirting is at this point.TLDR: Struggle with flirting, tried to get better, thought i did but found I didn't and I desperately want help.
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