Sex and dating after 18 year marriage

I am coming out of an abusive marriage that lasted 18 years. I have been enjoying dating and experiencing new people. It’s been overall very positive. I am just casually dating right now, not looking for a relationship right away.

However, I’m a little terrified I will never have satisfying sex again. I have slept with a few people and they all were such short encounters AND I wasn’t able to orgasm. From lack of skill/effort, not nervousness. I got lots of positive feedback on my own efforts.

While my marriage was a train wreck, one thing we did well was fuck. Both of us always orgasmed. We really had each other figured out sexually. I find myself really missing getting railed. 😂

So I’m wondering if this has just been bad luck or if lots of people just aren’t terribly great at sex? Yes I know that I can work on a sexual relationship if I find someone that I am really into…but I’m not ready to get that close yet. I feel shitty for being critical, but sex is just a big part of who I am and I’ve been so disappointed.



Submitted April 20, 2023 at 01:15AM

I am coming out of an abusive marriage that lasted 18 years. I have been enjoying dating and experiencing new people. It’s been overall very positive. I am just casually dating right now, not looking for a relationship right away.However, I’m a little terrified I will never have satisfying sex again. I have slept with a few people and they all were such short encounters AND I wasn’t able to orgasm. From lack of skill/effort, not nervousness. I got lots of positive feedback on my own efforts.While my marriage was a train wreck, one thing we did well was fuck. Both of us always orgasmed. We really had each other figured out sexually. I find myself really missing getting railed. 😂So I’m wondering if this has just been bad luck or if lots of people just aren’t terribly great at sex? Yes I know that I can work on a sexual relationship if I find someone that I am really into…but I’m not ready to get that close yet. I feel shitty for being critical, but sex is just a big part of who I am and I’ve been so disappointed.
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