Are we becoming a thing? I'm confused.

I [21M] met a girl [20F]. We both like substances ;). We started talking about our substance abuse issues, and started to get to know each other. Turns out we are pretty similar, and crazy in a compatible way. I have way less experience than her, and I tend to be avoidant when it starts getting real, vulnerable and intimate. We both have made a lot of mistakes in our lives and our baggage goes along.

We called every day for around 1-3 hours for 1.5 months online. She lives around one hour away. She has come over to my place two times, and we both consumed substances together lol. Initially, I tried to kiss her the first time we were together, and she rejected. We were both high. We kept talking cuz we genuinely enjoy each other's company.

Last time we hung out, we abused the substances a bit too much at a rave. She was complimenting me about my natural smell, how good I look with those sunglasses, my skin, etc. She tried to kiss me while we were both really high. She went in like 60%, but I had brain fog and time lag, so I thought it was too late, and pretended to ignore. At the moment, my face went a bit suspicious and disgusted, but I think it's my faulty attachment style + substances lol. Afterwards we danced a shit ton and had fun until she had to carry me back to my place lol. She stayed over, and we had really nice vulnerable chats when we woke up and did more substances lol. After that, I decided to get sober, and quit substances. It was too much. She decided to ignore me for 2 weeks, and pretended like her phone is turned off. I figured it was because I kind of rejected her.

She called recently and apologized, and we have been talking. We are preparing an activity this weekend. I don't know if she is still interested, or whether it was the substances (X).

I am confused where this is going. But I recently admitted to myself that I have feelings for this girl (took me a long time lol).

HELP, I'm new at dating

Submitted March 14, 2023 at 01:12AM

I [21M] met a girl [20F]. We both like substances ;). We started talking about our substance abuse issues, and started to get to know each other. Turns out we are pretty similar, and crazy in a compatible way. I have way less experience than her, and I tend to be avoidant when it starts getting real, vulnerable and intimate. We both have made a lot of mistakes in our lives and our baggage goes along.We called every day for around 1-3 hours for 1.5 months online. She lives around one hour away. She has come over to my place two times, and we both consumed substances together lol. Initially, I tried to kiss her the first time we were together, and she rejected. We were both high. We kept talking cuz we genuinely enjoy each other's company.Last time we hung out, we abused the substances a bit too much at a rave. She was complimenting me about my natural smell, how good I look with those sunglasses, my skin, etc. She tried to kiss me while we were both really high. She went in like 60%, but I had brain fog and time lag, so I thought it was too late, and pretended to ignore. At the moment, my face went a bit suspicious and disgusted, but I think it's my faulty attachment style + substances lol. Afterwards we danced a shit ton and had fun until she had to carry me back to my place lol. She stayed over, and we had really nice vulnerable chats when we woke up and did more substances lol. After that, I decided to get sober, and quit substances. It was too much. She decided to ignore me for 2 weeks, and pretended like her phone is turned off. I figured it was because I kind of rejected her.She called recently and apologized, and we have been talking. We are preparing an activity this weekend. I don't know if she is still interested, or whether it was the substances (X).I am confused where this is going. But I recently admitted to myself that I have feelings for this girl (took me a long time lol).HELP, I'm new at dating