Am I being played/used?

Sorry sorry sorry for the long paragraphs

I (F) met this guy through a mutual friend of ours early November. He came out of a 10 year relationship about 3-ish years ago, didn't date much especially with COVID and all that crap. The first time we hung out was more to meet and get to know each other, not even as a date. It was amazing, we hit it off immediately. Then he asked me out again. We went on more than 5 dates, gradually got more attracted to each other, cuddled here and there tho nothing sexual.

His texting pattern got worse by time. I guess that's the honeymoon effect wearing off, no biggie. (he said he's a bad texter and everyone knows that, our friend even asked me once why wasn't he replying for 3 days) He admitted that he really likes me, really attracted to me and whatnot. He used to mention "if you were to be my gf... [-]" so I guess a relationship was possible. We had that talk once, at the start, if we were to ever be in a relationship. Tho 2 factors are getting in the way of that rltp, I will address them in the following context :

The last time we went out together during that period was very early December. It was unbelievably cute. After that, he got even worse with the texting and after lots of tries, he made it clear that dating was out of the question (rightfully so, I respected that, I won't be disclosing the reason but it's one of the factors) (no he's not taken and neither am I)

Fast forward to mid January, we both folded and texted each other, saying we miss the other person. The same night, he picked me up, we went out for a cruise and got food. He wanted me to tell him about everything that was bothering me, apologized profusely for the way he acted and that he didn't mean it. Then he mentioned the fact that he's moving out of the country for work (factor 2) but he'll visit often. We went back to his place, cuddled and made out for the first time. I didn't go further knowing that he's leaving or maybe that we won't be together. Before dropping me back to my place, he held my face and was genuinely asking himself: "What did you do to me?" Like he's falling for me and can't do anything about it (maybe I'm delulu). He promised that we'd see each other again before he leaves, promise broken.

We went into no-contact.

His birthday came and my dumb dumb self decided to wish him a happy birthday. He replied thanking me. Then a month later, he texts me saying that he's visiting real soon and might see me. I played it off like "yeah right". We texted back and forth up until we decided to meet up again, that was 5 days ago. He came to pick me up, we did our usual "date-night" and he gave me a lollipop (small unnecessary detail ik) but he used to give me one every time we hang out because I like them. He explained the situation of why he was busy and we couldn't meet up. Now sexual tension was strongly present from the 2nd-3rd time we met. We went back to his place cus we were sorta sleepy and thought we'd relax. Things got steamy and we had sex. I'm certainly not the type to sleep around but I couldn't resist. We did the deed and after it, he said: "You're the only girl I want." I thought I didn't hear him at first so I asked him if he could repeat what he said, he did. I was like "oh yeah?", he proceeded to say that I should've noticed that a while ago (sue me).

Plot twist: my period came early. There was blood on his sheets. I got really embarrassed but he did everything to make me feel that it's totally fine. We finished whatsoever he dropped me off back at my house and I was still in shock. He was flying back the next day. He mentioned the fact that he's coming for Easter and wants to see me. He texted me goodnight and even the morning after saying that his sheets are clean whatsoever. I wished him safe travels.

Aaaand back to meh texting, so I just stopped texting (i texted first most, if not, all the time) and waiting till he texts me.

Is he planning to use me? Is he just gaslighting me? Am I being delusional?

Submitted March 30, 2023 at 12:12AM

Sorry sorry sorry for the long paragraphsI (F) met this guy through a mutual friend of ours early November. He came out of a 10 year relationship about 3-ish years ago, didn't date much especially with COVID and all that crap. The first time we hung out was more to meet and get to know each other, not even as a date. It was amazing, we hit it off immediately. Then he asked me out again. We went on more than 5 dates, gradually got more attracted to each other, cuddled here and there tho nothing sexual.His texting pattern got worse by time. I guess that's the honeymoon effect wearing off, no biggie. (he said he's a bad texter and everyone knows that, our friend even asked me once why wasn't he replying for 3 days) He admitted that he really likes me, really attracted to me and whatnot. He used to mention "if you were to be my gf... [-]" so I guess a relationship was possible. We had that talk once, at the start, if we were to ever be in a relationship. Tho 2 factors are getting in the way of that rltp, I will address them in the following context :The last time we went out together during that period was very early December. It was unbelievably cute. After that, he got even worse with the texting and after lots of tries, he made it clear that dating was out of the question (rightfully so, I respected that, I won't be disclosing the reason but it's one of the factors) (no he's not taken and neither am I)Fast forward to mid January, we both folded and texted each other, saying we miss the other person. The same night, he picked me up, we went out for a cruise and got food. He wanted me to tell him about everything that was bothering me, apologized profusely for the way he acted and that he didn't mean it. Then he mentioned the fact that he's moving out of the country for work (factor 2) but he'll visit often. We went back to his place, cuddled and made out for the first time. I didn't go further knowing that he's leaving or maybe that we won't be together. Before dropping me back to my place, he held my face and was genuinely asking himself: "What did you do to me?" Like he's falling for me and can't do anything about it (maybe I'm delulu). He promised that we'd see each other again before he leaves, promise broken.We went into no-contact.His birthday came and my dumb dumb self decided to wish him a happy birthday. He replied thanking me. Then a month later, he texts me saying that he's visiting real soon and might see me. I played it off like "yeah right". We texted back and forth up until we decided to meet up again, that was 5 days ago. He came to pick me up, we did our usual "date-night" and he gave me a lollipop (small unnecessary detail ik) but he used to give me one every time we hang out because I like them. He explained the situation of why he was busy and we couldn't meet up. Now sexual tension was strongly present from the 2nd-3rd time we met. We went back to his place cus we were sorta sleepy and thought we'd relax. Things got steamy and we had sex. I'm certainly not the type to sleep around but I couldn't resist. We did the deed and after it, he said: "You're the only girl I want." I thought I didn't hear him at first so I asked him if he could repeat what he said, he did. I was like "oh yeah?", he proceeded to say that I should've noticed that a while ago (sue me).Plot twist: my period came early. There was blood on his sheets. I got really embarrassed but he did everything to make me feel that it's totally fine. We finished whatsoever he dropped me off back at my house and I was still in shock. He was flying back the next day. He mentioned the fact that he's coming for Easter and wants to see me. He texted me goodnight and even the morning after saying that his sheets are clean whatsoever. I wished him safe travels.Aaaand back to meh texting, so I just stopped texting (i texted first most, if not, all the time) and waiting till he texts me.Is he planning to use me? Is he just gaslighting me? Am I being delusional?