/u/Fit-Refrigerator-612 on Boyfriend (33M) just told me he might be asexual. I (31F) am allosexual. Looking for advice!

You've opened my eyes a little bit here, thank you. The timing was wrong to suggest therapy. I've been wanting to bring it up to him for a while and for some reason felt that this was my chance. I'll amend that with him as soon as I can. I've never consciously equated asexuality to brokenness. I just know he has a lot to unpack with a therapist and thought that maybe some of those troubles were feeding into his sexual issues. But I shouldn't have been so knee-jerk about it, you're absolutely correct.

As far as me suggesting opening the relationship goes, it's truly NOT what I want at ALL. I just figured that we would have that conversation at some point and wanted to rip off the bandaid, I guess. He told me he wouldn't be comfortable with it and I made it clear I wouldn't be either so that won't be an option for us. But again, my timing was off. My emotions were running high. I was worried about my relationship. I'll make sure to have another conversation about those two issues with him soon.

I've never had the healthiest relationship with sex in the first place. I've gone a long time without it so continuing the streak would be fairly easy. I didn't have a sex drive at all really until I met him. So I meant it when I said I don't need it. Yes, to me feeling wanted includes sexual desire. Or at least that has always been my perception. I've never been in a situation where that thought process was challenged. I'm going to be learning a lot throughout this process.





February 20, 2023 at 12:07AM
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