Asked a woman this and ...

To say the least this went a little bit wrong, I suppose. I probably I screw this up, totally, when I spoke with a woman today, which is ok since I refuse to keep doing this overthinking if she likes me or not for this long (months, she looks at me, I look at her, she smiles, I like that, etc.), so regarding that (thinking about her this hard) I'm done. Over the years I've had girlfriends, all good, but since my last one, my game (which was never great) has been poor to say the least. So today, after some months of looking at this woman smile at me, wink the eyes at me, me looking at her, and liking this interaction, but knowing it could be just a friendly interaction, which has been going on for some time now (we sometimes talked to each other, etc.). As time went by I started to see these as signals (they were not, or so I think so let's be real, or what do I know women are complicated). So I approached her today and told her the following below (yeah, it sucks, but I just didn't want to say I like you, and all that stuff I just don't felt I wanted to put myself in that position so I asked a question that is probably difficult for women to answer based on the context.)

Me: "When we look at each other, and you smile, and I look back, and you wink at me, what does that mean to you?" I was nervous, which is natural, but there I was trying to keep my composure. Her face's expression was super surprised, she was pale, the looks she had on her face means she was 200% surprised by the question, but after all this, she said "it means nothing". So I told her, "ok I just wanted to ask you:, she said: "did I make you feel uncomfortable?" I told her no, and I told her "If I have questions or doubts I will ask you know"

But here I'm, I tend to prefer to fail rather than to regret not doing it and then feel like a coward (which I f**cking hate I prefer to fail like I said) for not doing it because of fear. Anyway, I basically wanted to say to her that I liked her (but actually didn't, for the reasons above) but most of it it's me wanted to see how she felt about me, however before she leaved she said (and I interpret this as a way of saying something before she left, so I didn't took it literally.) "I love you".

But, was this actually a rejection? I tend to think of it like it is, basically expecting her to reply to that question (even if she is on to me) is kind of nuts from my part, based on how modern women think. I just didn't wanted to be that guy that says I like you, etc. I know, my approach could have been very different, like "hey do you want to take lunch sometime, etc." but I just went for this, it's just what it is...

For me this is good in part because then I can now focus on other things, I don't want and can't afford to be thinking all day long about this woman or any other for that matter since my work efficiency is suffering a little bit because of that (less focus at work). I only hope that with that question I didn't come off as arrogant to her, as I asked her in a quiet tone not aggressive or excited, I was respectful the whole time, we were alone). Regarding approaching and spcifically a rejection, from my experience once I overcome the initial hurdle (fear, and then the rejection) it's like I can continue with my life, like moving on, of course the feeling sucks but it is what it is. So in a way I did this not just expecting a positive answer from her but to actually freed myself from thinking about her in case the answer was not positive, it's weird how I think sometimes.

be harsh if you need to, or it would be good if someone just shed some perspective on what could she be thinking by now of the whole situation, but it is what it is...

Submitted February 18, 2023 at 12:15AM

To say the least this went a little bit wrong, I suppose. I probably I screw this up, totally, when I spoke with a woman today, which is ok since I refuse to keep doing this overthinking if she likes me or not for this long (months, she looks at me, I look at her, she smiles, I like that, etc.), so regarding that (thinking about her this hard) I'm done. Over the years I've had girlfriends, all good, but since my last one, my game (which was never great) has been poor to say the least. So today, after some months of looking at this woman smile at me, wink the eyes at me, me looking at her, and liking this interaction, but knowing it could be just a friendly interaction, which has been going on for some time now (we sometimes talked to each other, etc.). As time went by I started to see these as signals (they were not, or so I think so let's be real, or what do I know women are complicated). So I approached her today and told her the following below (yeah, it sucks, but I just didn't want to say I like you, and all that stuff I just don't felt I wanted to put myself in that position so I asked a question that is probably difficult for women to answer based on the context.)Me: "When we look at each other, and you smile, and I look back, and you wink at me, what does that mean to you?" I was nervous, which is natural, but there I was trying to keep my composure. Her face's expression was super surprised, she was pale, the looks she had on her face means she was 200% surprised by the question, but after all this, she said "it means nothing". So I told her, "ok I just wanted to ask you:, she said: "did I make you feel uncomfortable?" I told her no, and I told her "If I have questions or doubts I will ask you know"But here I'm, I tend to prefer to fail rather than to regret not doing it and then feel like a coward (which I f**cking hate I prefer to fail like I said) for not doing it because of fear. Anyway, I basically wanted to say to her that I liked her (but actually didn't, for the reasons above) but most of it it's me wanted to see how she felt about me, however before she leaved she said (and I interpret this as a way of saying something before she left, so I didn't took it literally.) "I love you".But, was this actually a rejection? I tend to think of it like it is, basically expecting her to reply to that question (even if she is on to me) is kind of nuts from my part, based on how modern women think. I just didn't wanted to be that guy that says I like you, etc. I know, my approach could have been very different, like "hey do you want to take lunch sometime, etc." but I just went for this, it's just what it is...For me this is good in part because then I can now focus on other things, I don't want and can't afford to be thinking all day long about this woman or any other for that matter since my work efficiency is suffering a little bit because of that (less focus at work). I only hope that with that question I didn't come off as arrogant to her, as I asked her in a quiet tone not aggressive or excited, I was respectful the whole time, we were alone). Regarding approaching and spcifically a rejection, from my experience once I overcome the initial hurdle (fear, and then the rejection) it's like I can continue with my life, like moving on, of course the feeling sucks but it is what it is. So in a way I did this not just expecting a positive answer from her but to actually freed myself from thinking about her in case the answer was not positive, it's weird how I think sometimes.be harsh if you need to, or it would be good if someone just shed some perspective on what could she be thinking by now of the whole situation, but it is what it is...