Am I likely to be successful in love if I have ADHD?

It happened again. I (27F) met someone who I really liked and enjoyed spending time with all for it to fall about largely because of issues related to my ADHD. For those who don't know, a lot of people with ADHD tend to live in extremes, either they love something or couldn't be bothered with it, which often I feel like applies to my feelings for other people. So my feelings tend to be really strong while the other person is at a more moderate level with their feelings. I also tend to get bored easily and constantly want to be doing new things and don't want to stay at home very much, where often nuerotypical folks I've dated have a more set routine, a shorter list of activities they enjoy, and want to spend a good amount of time at home. I also get easily bored sexually which has become a big issue in the past.

These issues often create a lot of tension over time between myself and the other person because there's an imbalance. And as much as I've gotten better at not pushing the person too much to do things that they're not interested in, those feelings of rejection when I constantly get no's to ideas that I have eventually taken their tole on me emotionally and I get frustrated.

I'm to a point where I'm worried my ADHD may bar me from ever having a good romantic relationship. Does anyone else relate to this? Are there other ADHD folks who HAVE managed to have successful relationships? I'm just looking for any thoughts, insight or advice. I'm constantly trying to work on myself but it feels like an uphill battle and a lot of the time when think I've got it figured out and I've found a healthy mindset, I'm wrong. I accept if this may prevent me from ever having a healthy or stable relationship if that's my reality, but if I can do something to make things better, I'd really like to keep trying.

Submitted February 17, 2023 at 12:10AM

It happened again. I (27F) met someone who I really liked and enjoyed spending time with all for it to fall about largely because of issues related to my ADHD. For those who don't know, a lot of people with ADHD tend to live in extremes, either they love something or couldn't be bothered with it, which often I feel like applies to my feelings for other people. So my feelings tend to be really strong while the other person is at a more moderate level with their feelings. I also tend to get bored easily and constantly want to be doing new things and don't want to stay at home very much, where often nuerotypical folks I've dated have a more set routine, a shorter list of activities they enjoy, and want to spend a good amount of time at home. I also get easily bored sexually which has become a big issue in the past.These issues often create a lot of tension over time between myself and the other person because there's an imbalance. And as much as I've gotten better at not pushing the person too much to do things that they're not interested in, those feelings of rejection when I constantly get no's to ideas that I have eventually taken their tole on me emotionally and I get frustrated.I'm to a point where I'm worried my ADHD may bar me from ever having a good romantic relationship. Does anyone else relate to this? Are there other ADHD folks who HAVE managed to have successful relationships? I'm just looking for any thoughts, insight or advice. I'm constantly trying to work on myself but it feels like an uphill battle and a lot of the time when think I've got it figured out and I've found a healthy mindset, I'm wrong. I accept if this may prevent me from ever having a healthy or stable relationship if that's my reality, but if I can do something to make things better, I'd really like to keep trying.