Rejected for second date after great first date (ended after 4 hours with her kissing me)

I (26M) had been chatting online with a cool, interesting woman (27F) for a couple days. I really liked that she would write long, thought-out answers to my questions, and I’d do the same with her. So I asked her out and she said yes, and we got drinks the next day.

She looked even better than her photos and was as interesting and pleasant as she seemed online. We had moments of laughter and some deeper conversations that definitely showed some differences between us about interests and her having more relationship experience than me. We got multiple rounds of drinks and she seemed to be having a great time. 4 hours of constant conversation later she said she needed to get home, so I paid the tab (she was very grateful) and was prepared to say goodbye at the sidewalk.

She asked if she could walk me to the subway and I said of course. On the way, she was complimenting me (about my interests, my appearance). She told me she had a great time and asked me to text her when I got home. I went to hug her, but to my surprise she kissed me instead. We again told each other how great it was to have spent the night together and I got on the train.

When I got home, she’d texted me first that she made it safely and I did the same, telling her I’d love to see her again. I was crushed the next morning when she wrote back that she had a lovely time and really liked me but it didn’t feel right at this point to see me again.

I’ve been rejected after a first date before, but she seemed to be having such a nice time and made a point to walk me and kiss me goodbye. I’m feeling confused and disappointed.

Why did she kiss me if she wasn’t into me? Should I feel as bummed as I do?



Submitted January 05, 2023 at 01:15AM

I (26M) had been chatting online with a cool, interesting woman (27F) for a couple days. I really liked that she would write long, thought-out answers to my questions, and I’d do the same with her. So I asked her out and she said yes, and we got drinks the next day.She looked even better than her photos and was as interesting and pleasant as she seemed online. We had moments of laughter and some deeper conversations that definitely showed some differences between us about interests and her having more relationship experience than me. We got multiple rounds of drinks and she seemed to be having a great time. 4 hours of constant conversation later she said she needed to get home, so I paid the tab (she was very grateful) and was prepared to say goodbye at the sidewalk.She asked if she could walk me to the subway and I said of course. On the way, she was complimenting me (about my interests, my appearance). She told me she had a great time and asked me to text her when I got home. I went to hug her, but to my surprise she kissed me instead. We again told each other how great it was to have spent the night together and I got on the train.When I got home, she’d texted me first that she made it safely and I did the same, telling her I’d love to see her again. I was crushed the next morning when she wrote back that she had a lovely time and really liked me but it didn’t feel right at this point to see me again.I’ve been rejected after a first date before, but she seemed to be having such a nice time and made a point to walk me and kiss me goodbye. I’m feeling confused and disappointed.Why did she kiss me if she wasn’t into me? Should I feel as bummed as I do?
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