Matched with a woman on fb dating yesterday. Went to message her today and noticed she unmatched…

The point of this post is that I know OLD is hard… but it would be nice to give & receive the benefit of the doubt.

I (30M) work on weekends, and I spent yesterday being a brother and an uncle before going to work last night. I saw the match notification pop up at my brother’s place. But being on dating apps during that time is inappropriate, imo, especially since I hadn’t passed by my brother’s place in a while. That’s family time.

This woman I matched with (mid-20’s), on fb dating, was cute and seemed wholesome. Looking for a long-term partner and taking dating seriously. So I didn’t want to send her a message at 3am (after work) because it seemed like a weird hour to reach out for the 1st time. Didn’t want to give her the impression I’m a casual guy.

Figured I’d send that 1st message today at a more “normal” hour. When I went to go do that, I noticed she unmatched. I guess that’s what I get for waiting and overthinking. Lesson learned, I guess.

She probably assumed I wasn’t ever going to reach out. But I find this weird because it’s not like she messaged me & I didn’t respond. I think it’s safe to assume people have things to do on Saturdays… it felt like she was quick to unmatch in less than 24hrs.

I guess if there’s any advice you can offer, I’m open to it. Clearly, I had nothing to lose by messaging her at 3am, and I’ll take that into consideration with future matches. This is under the assumption she unmatched because I didn’t initiate conversation fast enough for her taste. Of course, we’ll never know for sure.

I’m aware of other possibilities, like an accidental right swipe, or hitting it off with someone else.

TLDR: I wanted to open up a discussion and hear what other people’s experiences are with matches who do not message within 24hrs. How do you handle it? Do you assume they’ll never message? Do you assume they’re busy? Do you unmatch or leave it alone? I’m curious.

Submitted January 30, 2023 at 12:08AM

The point of this post is that I know OLD is hard… but it would be nice to give & receive the benefit of the doubt.I (30M) work on weekends, and I spent yesterday being a brother and an uncle before going to work last night. I saw the match notification pop up at my brother’s place. But being on dating apps during that time is inappropriate, imo, especially since I hadn’t passed by my brother’s place in a while. That’s family time.This woman I matched with (mid-20’s), on fb dating, was cute and seemed wholesome. Looking for a long-term partner and taking dating seriously. So I didn’t want to send her a message at 3am (after work) because it seemed like a weird hour to reach out for the 1st time. Didn’t want to give her the impression I’m a casual guy.Figured I’d send that 1st message today at a more “normal” hour. When I went to go do that, I noticed she unmatched. I guess that’s what I get for waiting and overthinking. Lesson learned, I guess.She probably assumed I wasn’t ever going to reach out. But I find this weird because it’s not like she messaged me & I didn’t respond. I think it’s safe to assume people have things to do on Saturdays… it felt like she was quick to unmatch in less than 24hrs.I guess if there’s any advice you can offer, I’m open to it. Clearly, I had nothing to lose by messaging her at 3am, and I’ll take that into consideration with future matches. This is under the assumption she unmatched because I didn’t initiate conversation fast enough for her taste. Of course, we’ll never know for sure.I’m aware of other possibilities, like an accidental right swipe, or hitting it off with someone else.TLDR: I wanted to open up a discussion and hear what other people’s experiences are with matches who do not message within 24hrs. How do you handle it? Do you assume they’ll never message? Do you assume they’re busy? Do you unmatch or leave it alone? I’m curious.