Help me understand this situation

I had been dating this guy for around 3-4 months. Mainly pursued by him. I was not that interested to begin with but he really grinded and eventually won me over. About half way into dating his work gets super stressful and he was just not in a place to really date yet still tried to. I said to him I thought it was not the time for him but still he did not step back. Last week it all came to a blow because the quality of the time we were spending together was awful. We agreed to take some time to think about how to move forward. I have just seen him today, and instead of suggesting a plan of moving forward, a way to work through it together, or anything like that, he's just ended everything, saying it is not the right time nor will it be in the future. He said he needs time to work on his work and that will be ongoing for years. I am completely blindsided. I totally get it was not the right time but I was always willing to maybe come back to it in the future / have more room for grey. He is also the one that pursued the whole thing and last week came to meet my friends and was taking couples pics. I am completely blindsided and do not know how to rationalise such a change in behaviour and opinion. I can't get my mind around someone doing a 180 u turn like this. I'm really upset, mainly at how someone can change so suddenly. Any advice? :(



Submitted December 06, 2022 at 01:05AM

I had been dating this guy for around 3-4 months. Mainly pursued by him. I was not that interested to begin with but he really grinded and eventually won me over. About half way into dating his work gets super stressful and he was just not in a place to really date yet still tried to. I said to him I thought it was not the time for him but still he did not step back. Last week it all came to a blow because the quality of the time we were spending together was awful. We agreed to take some time to think about how to move forward. I have just seen him today, and instead of suggesting a plan of moving forward, a way to work through it together, or anything like that, he's just ended everything, saying it is not the right time nor will it be in the future. He said he needs time to work on his work and that will be ongoing for years. I am completely blindsided. I totally get it was not the right time but I was always willing to maybe come back to it in the future / have more room for grey. He is also the one that pursued the whole thing and last week came to meet my friends and was taking couples pics. I am completely blindsided and do not know how to rationalise such a change in behaviour and opinion. I can't get my mind around someone doing a 180 u turn like this. I'm really upset, mainly at how someone can change so suddenly. Any advice? :(
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